Tongues of Tequila
by IsabellaImogen
Summary: Chapters eleven and twelve are up! Welcome Joaquin and goodbye Colin, for now! Oh the angst! It will only get grittier, folks. If you thought I was stopping with the former prostitute, you were wrong. Moderate language. Title change, too.
1. Coke and Cognac

**Disclaimer: Kudos to Jane Austen and my Creativity Demons for this Magic Carpet Ride you're about to experience.**

**A/N: It's a new story! I know I'm always neglecting my other stories, but this one was too good to resist! I know a modernized P&P isn't exactly original, but I hope this one will have my own interestibng twists and quirks in it due to it's setting and characters!**

Coke and Cognac

"Dio, I love tourists! The heat makes them eager to drink, they tip well, and bless them, only two gaped at my chest today!" Isabella Benedicte locked the door of the bar as the last customer tottered off to find a cab back to his hotel in the wee hours of the morning. With a yawn, Isabella threw herself onto a barstool, propping her chin on her fist.

"Miss! Bring me my usual!" she growled playfully, slapping her hand on the bar.

"Coming right up!" Her best friend and fellow bartender, Jade Lian, brushed a strand of her jet-black hair from her face and went about fixing the drink. "You know, I think I'll have one myself. Hey Isa, want an umbrella in it?" She beamed down the bar, her eyes twinkling.

Isa felt a momentary twinge of envy at Jade's beauty. Men were always fascinated by the petite Chinese girl who hefted trays full of frosty beer mugs without batting an eyelash or breaking a nail. Jade had a lithe, athletic frame, and was able to maintain her trim physique with little to no effort. Jade ate as much as she wanted of whatever struck her fancy, and never seemed to gain a pound. Her skin was smooth, with a honeyed gold sheen to it that enthralled men who were drawn to her exotic charm. She had a small, straight nose, pink rosebud lips, and a pointed chin to complete her heart-shaped face. Her lustrous black hair fell straight to her shoulders, but she often kept it pulled back while she worked. Her best assets, by far, though, was her eyes. Large, dark, almond-shaped eyes that seemed to go on forever. Isa was never sure if they were brown or black, but they always gazed solemnly out at the world. Yet there was a hint of light that danced in her eyes sometimes, when she was happy, which was often, or when she was angry, which was rare. Jade drew men like honey draws bees, and yet she never made an effort to attract them or play them for fools. Jade was one of the kindest, sweetest, most genuine people that Isa had ever met, and she often marveled at her luck in finding not only such a hard worker, but also such a good friend. Jade had small, elegant hands that one could see pouring green tea in a calm, traditional Chinese teahouse. A far cry from Isabella's family bar, Salida del Sol.

The bar had a Mexican theme that charmed tourists in the L.A. area. Chili lights and bright, bold Hispanic artwork hung all over the room, tilting crazily at some angles, lending the place an overall cozy, colourful appeal. Squeezed into the medium-sized space were small tables in various nooks and crannies, while the polished antique bar stretched all along one end of the room. In one corner, a small raised platform acted as a stage for nights when Isa managed to book live entertainment, or on open mic nights, which the regulars enjoyed, but the tourists shied away from. A door near the back of the bar led to a small passage, with two more doors opening off of it. One led to the washrooms, while the other led to a room dominated by a pool table. Behind the bar was the small kitchen and back office of Salida del Sol, and a flight of rickety stairs led from the kitchen to the small apartment above, where Isa and Jane lived as roommates.

"I think I can handle it." Isa grinned at Jade, running a hand through her own thick black hair, which fell to the middle of her back. She preferred to wear it loose, and shunned all jewelry, aside from her small silver crucifix necklace and a bracelet of silver links, which she'd had since she was 12, a gift from her Papa. It was simple in design, but elegantly crafted with its attention to the minute details. Isa may have envied Jade her eyes, but perhaps this was because she was unaware of the charm within her own. Isa's large, chocolate-brown eyes spoke a language all their own. Isa watched as Jade bent below the bar to open the small mini-fridge that kept their private stash. With a sigh, she pushed away from the bar and went to a nearby table, loading up her tray with the empty glasses.

"Shouldn't Lupe be doing that? Or Katarina?" asked Jade with a frown, nodding to the glasses and referring to Isa's younger sisters. Isa shook her head.

"It's Katarina's night off, so of course Lupe wouldn't let me rest until I let her off work early to go meet some boy. I could hardly say no."

"Isa, they work for you. You own Salida del Sol now, and not your father. They should answer to you as their boss, not as their sister."

"Jade, let me put it this way: I'd rather clear the tables myself than put up with Lupe's whining," she placed a hand on her hip and tilted an eloquent brow at Jade, who considered a moment, then burst out laughing.

"Good point!" she giggled. Isa cracked a smile in return, then hauled the heavy tray over to the bussing station behind the bar. After loading the glasses into the dishwasher and placing the hand-washable ones into the sink, she turned on the water and took a cloth in her hand to polish them.

"You know," she said thoughtfully. "Considering all the walking and heavy lifting I do, I really ought to be in better shape."

"Isa," there was a note of warning in Jade's voice. "For the last time, you're not overweight."

"Easy for you to say, Miss 0.4 percent Body Fat."

"Hey that's my metabolism! You can't blame me for my metabolism!"

"Then don't get upset if I take a moment to bemoan the fact that I have bad genes. Just _look_ at my thighs!"

"There's nothing wrong with your thighs. People like your thighs." Isa rolled her eyes and shot Jade a doubtful glance. There was a moment of rebellious silence on her part, and then her voice crept out.

"_Who_ likes my thighs?"

"Colin Priestly," said Jade simply. There was a yelp and a frantic moment as Isa grappled to maintain her hold on the soapy glass she held.

"Oh God, he _said_ that to you? That smarmy, womanizing barfly outright _said_ to you that he liked my thighs?"

"Well, no. He didn't say it," rationalized Jade.

"Oh thank God," breathed Isa, resting against the counter as she polished the last glass and put it away.

"…But his eyes _did_ seem to be fastened on your ass while you delivered drinks to the other side of the room." Isa let out a wail and flapped the dishcloth at Jade, who smiled mercilessly.

"I am never stepping out from behind this counter as long as I live! No one will ever see my ass again! From now on, it'll be from the waist up."

"No dice," said Jade calmly.

"What? I might as well go pantless so long as I stay behind the bar."

"He was also staring at your boobs." Isa sank down behind the bar and sat at Jade's feet, hidden from the rest of the room.

"Tell me when 50 years are up. I'll be out then," she said, the words muffled as she buried her red face into her blue-jean-clad knees.

"At least you HAVE breasts for people to stare at," said Jade mournfully.

"It's puppy-fat," mumbled Isa disconsolately.

"No, it's not. You have been blessed by the Breast Fairy, hon. Now get up, your drink is ready." Isa stood up, brushed off her legs and sat on the countertop, taking the drink that Jade offered her. She took the pink paper umbrella out of the opened can of Coca-Cola and sipped at the chilled soda, her lower lip sticking out in a petulant show of defiance.

"You're always able to drink caffeine late at night without it bothering you..." sighed Jade enviously, eyeing her own bottle of water with its blue umbrella with distaste.

"I shall go home and sleep like a rock...so long as I don't fixate on the creepy, sick, twisted, perverted, wrong thoughts that Colin Priestly is thinking about me."

"Colin may not have the smoothest moves, but when it comes down to it, he's a gentleman," said Jade, trying to make light of the situation.

"Yeah, a real gentleman who stares at my tits and ogles my butt while I trip around pouring drinks and displaying gratuitous amounts of cleavage." Isa frowned and buttoned the two last buttons on her blouse, up to her neck.

"It's not like he's about to leap out at you from some dark alleyway and insist your surrender to his depraved lust."

"'_Depraved lust?' _Okay…no more Harlequins for you, Jade. What's next? He's going to tear off my bodice to display my heaving bosom as he ravishes me while I shudder in the throes of passion and grope for his pulsating, throbbing, _masculine…_"

"Okay,_ I get it_," interjected Jade, raising her eyes to the ceiling as Isa smirked and sipped her Coke.

"You're insane, Bing," Darce Williams leaned back in the plush leather chair in his friend's living room and frowned.

"I hate that nickname; I win one pinball championship and my own perfectly good name is thrown away forever. Anyway, it's my money, Darce. You may not see anything but a derelict old building…"

"Which was a month away from being condemned, and you know it!"

"…Whereas I see…possibility." Chas Lee smiled as he kicked back in his own chair, looking about him with the air of one entirely at ease with his own wealth. He was of medium height, fairly tall considering his Chinese ancestry, lean and limber. Chas enjoyed sports, but he didn't feel the need to push himself physically, like Darce. Darce was a six foot two African-American and trained whenever he found time away from the office. Both men were handsome, in their own ways, with pleasing features and tightly muscled bodies. Chas had a thick head of black hair, and slanted brown eyes that twinkled merrily at some secret joke. Darce had smooth brown skin and unruly black hair that he attempted to keep under control to little avail. The two friends sat in the sunken living room of Chas' loft apartment in a posh, residential area of downtown LA.

"What I see is you having had far too much Prozac. If you'll listen to me, you'll come back to New York and set up a business there. There's nothing in LA except beach bums and wanna-be Hollywood actors."

"If I'm not mistaken, last I checked New York City was full of wanna-be Broadway actors and homeless people," Chas tilted a brow and waited for his friend's rebuttal.

"Well, yeah, but only in certain places. In LA, they're everywhere."

"Including or not including the Beverley Hills mansions?"

"Look Chas, all I'm saying is that there's a higher sort of class of people in New York. The East has been settled far longer than here out West, people have had a chance to develop more refined tastes, and an putting a classy, upscale establishment in LA would be like putting the crown jewels on a crack whore."

"Speaking of crack whores wearing the crown jewels, how's your mother?"

"Haha," muttered Darce, not amused. "Do you have anything to drink around here?"

"Yeah, there's some cognac in the minibar over there." Darce stood and went to the bar, pouring a glass for himself and Chas. He delivered it to his friend, then sat on the steps leading into the living room with a sigh, swirling the amber liquid in his glass before sipping it appreciatively.

"My mother…my mother is on vacation in Bermuda. I don't expect to see her back in America soon." Darce felt, beyond a sense of duty and respect, nothing but a mild distaste for his overbearing mother. His father had built his business from a modest beginning to worldwide corporate expansion, and his mother had become accustomed to nothing but the best. While his father hadn't allowed this to go to his head, his mother was now simply the most ruthless society dame New York had ever seen. She thankfully spent most of her time touring Europe and the Caribbean lately, and left Darce to run the business side of things.

"Thank God for that. I swear the sun darkens just a little every time she steps back upon American soil."

"Chas, I'd thank you to keep your opinions about my mother to yourself. Whatever I may or may not feel towards her in terms of affection does not lessen the fact that she is the woman who bore me, and as such, she deserves at least the respect of your silence."

"Fine. About the bar, Darce, just give it a chance. You've already come all the way out here to help me with the grand opening, and you've been great at ironing out all the wrinkles. You know I'm no good at handling business like you."

"Funny how one who is 'no good at handling business' somehow managed to make millions through their enterprises?"

"Yeah," Chas' smile was lop-sided and he pondered his glass of cognac. "Life is a funny lil' thing, ain't it?"

"It's a regular comedy club. Now Chas…" Darce trailed off and sighed at the look of incorrigible happiness on his friend's face and drank his liquor instead. He shook his head slowly. "If it means that much to you…you go right ahead. Just promise me you won't give up entirely on the East Coast."

"I would never do that; and I promise you I'll make YinYang the hottest bar this side of the Mississippi."

"You'd better," said Darce, managing a low chuckle. "Oh you'd better."


	2. Ice Ice Baby

"Isa! We need some more ice!" Lupe's voice had a flat note to it that was indicative of her whining. Isa closed her eyes and massages her temples with the heels of her hands. She took off her reading glasses and laid them on the paperwork she'd been going over. She leaned back from her desk and looked out the open door of the office down the hall to where Lupe stood, idly twirling her hair and scuffing her toe at the floor while she waited for Isa to answer.

"You know where it is!"

"You're closer! And I'm really busy right now!" Isa rolled her eyes a little. _Fat chance._ "Pleeeeeease?" Isa glanced back at her paperwork and groaned slightly. Looking up, she caught her sister, Maria, looking at her from where she stood at the filing cabinet, shuffling papers.

"Could you?" asked Isa, silently begging Maria, who handled most of the bookkeeping, to do this while she focused on her work.

"Yeah…" Maria shut the filing cabinet with a dull thud, turning to go get the ice for the bar from the freezer in the kitchen. At twenty-three, she was the only plain one of the four Benedicte girls. She went about her work, doing a good job, but she always looked sullen or bored. Her twin sister, Katarina, was bright and vivacious, but she tended to follow Lupe's capricious lead in everything. Lupe was nineteen, and had begun working at the bar during the nights she didn't attend night school, trying to get her high school diploma. She'd failed her last two years of high school, and was now reluctantly taking equivalency courses. Lupe, their mother's favourite, had protested strongly to this, much preferring to flunk school and go shopping instead. Their mother would have been pleased to let her stay out of school, arguing that Lupe was a late bloomer, and perhaps she needed a few more years to complete high school. Isa had raised her brows at this, seeing as Lupe was anything but your typical late bloomer. Lupe had a slender figure, ample breasts, and a girlish face; and she often tried to convince men that she was twenty-three or twenty-four. Nevertheless, their father had insisted Lupe finish school.

Isa turned back to her paperwork, trying to concentrate on filling out forms and adding numbers correctly. The point of her pencil suddenly snapped as Lupe's shriek echoed through the building.

"You idiot! You dropped the cooler on my toe! Dio, I think it's _broken_!" Maria entered the room a moment later, picking up the files again and re-opening the cabinet drawer.

"I gave her the ice," she said flatly. Isa sighed and pushed away from the desk, organizing her papers and putting them away for the time being. There was little chance Lupe would do a lick of work, now that she was wounded. Isa grabbed her apron that hung in the kitchen and tied it around her waist with a resigned, grim look on her face. She went out to the bar, where Lupe sat on a chair, surrounded by a bevy of concerned men, the components of the mariachi band Isa had booked for that evening. Her face was twisted in a pretty little pout, and her injured foot now rested _in_ the cooler full of ice that Maria had hauled out to the bar. Isa glanced at her sister's foot and suppressed a grimace. The toe was little more than bruised, and if Lupe wasn't wearing open-toed sandals, she wouldn't have felt a thing. Isa bit back a less-than-charitable remark and took Lupe by the arm, forcing her to stand, somewhat roughly, if well-intentioned.

"Careful!" shrieked Lupe. "I can't walk on it! _Ohhhh…_" Lupe let forth a moan that would have been more fittingly classified as orgasmic rather than agonized, and she swayed slightly, only to be swallowed by a swarm of men, each reaching out to support her. Isa shoved them off unceremoniously, and took her sister back behind the bar and into the kitchen, sitting her in a chair.

"Look, I know you're fine, and you know you're fine. I also know you will now refuse to do any work for the rest of the afternoon. You can leave now and go out by the back door so your admirers won't see you _not_ limping."

"You'll still pay me for a full-day's work, won't you Isa?" Lupe gazed innocently up at her sister, batting her eyes ridiculously.

"The hell I will. Now get out and go find something useful to do." _That'll be the day, _thought Isa.

"Isaaaa! You're so meeeean!" Lupe gave a cross little stamp of her good foot, crossing her arms across her chest and sulking. "I've been working _really_ hard. _No one_ notices a damn thing I do around here!"

"Then try _doing_ a damn thing around here for a change and maybe people will notice."

"Isa, why are you being such a bitch today?" Lupe's expression turned pitying, eerily so. "Are you PMS-ing?"

"No, sweetie, I'm just pissed at your theatrics."

"They're _not_ theatrics! I may well have broken a toe, and…"

"Whatever you've broken, it hasn't been a sweat since you've started working here. This will be the third shift in a row you haven't completed, and you failed to show up at all last week! This is becoming a habit for you, and I need it to stop. Now Lupe, I want you to go home, calm down, and see if you can find it in your heart to put in some good work at Salida del Sol. If you can, I'll welcome you back with open arms. If not…you can find work elsewhere."

Lupe's lips trembled.

"You're…you're _firing_ me? My own sister is _kicking me out?_" _And here it comes, _thought Isa, settling back to wait until her sister's rant was over. "You're firing me because I was _injured_? And that was totally _Maria's_ fault, not mine! If you're going to fire anyone, make it _her_! It's not like she does anything around here…" Isa bit her tongue at this little sliver of irony and waited. "And those times I missed work because I was _studying_ for this really big exam I had the next day, and you know it's important for me to get a good night's rest before I write an exam!"

"I know for a fact you were out that night with someone named Marcus until 2 am!"

"Marcus was my study buddy! We were studying together…"

"Oh, is that what they call it now-a-days?" said Isa dryly, picking up a magazine Katarina had left on the counter and idly flicking through it as Lupe continued.

"Isa, you're so prudish! It's not like I was doing anything that any normal ninteen-year old wouldn't do. Or twenty-six-year old…" she said slyly, shooting a poignant glance at Isa.

"For the last time Lupe, my life, is not your business."

"Then why is my life yours?"

"You work for me."

"Not anymore, you _fired _me, remember?"

"I gave you a choice, and you seemed to have chosen to quit."

"You fired me," Lupe insisted. Isa gave up.

"Fine, I fired you. Now lay off, all right? Some people have actual _lives_ as opposed to _sex-lives._"

"How would you know? You have neither!"

"That's not fair, Lupe. And it's inappropriate. I've made a choice in how I live my life, as you have done for yours. I'll leave you alone if you leave me alone. Now go home. Mama and Papa will want to know why you're out of work."

"Because you're jealous that a nineteen year old is getting more action than you are?"

"Because you were being a lazy little girl who likes to play at being grown-up. Grown-ups have to _work_, Lupe."

"Grown-ups are supposed to have a sex-life," snapped Lupe meanly.

"Then you're more grown-up than I could ever be," said Isa, raising a brow.

"Exac…wait, did you just call me a whore?"

"I called you nothing of the sort. Do _you_ think you're a whore?"

"Whatever I do, I do for love! Which is more than _you'll_ ever have with an attitude like yours, you ass-faced cow!" Lupe stormed out the back door, making a decidedly graceless exit. Isa bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. She loved all her sisters, but Lupe was being as difficult as she could possibly be under the circumstances. With a sigh, she went back into the bar, shaking her head at Jade, who was working the taps as the evening's first customers filtered in and the band struck up the first song. Somehow she felt that the night's bad events were just starting.

"Darce, get a move on!" Chas called out as he pounded on his friend's bedroom door. Darce was staying with Chas while in LA, not willing to trust himself to the mercies of the local hotels. Darce opened the door a moment later and ushered his friend into the room. Chas made himself comfortable in an armchair, lighting a cigarette while Darce puttered about the room, fastening his cuffs and trying to pick out a tie.

"You'll make the bedspread smell of smoke. You should quit anyway."

"I have no reason to quit, health issues aside. I've read that the only way to get rid of negative habits is to replace them with positive ones. Given that I already have everything a man could possibly want, there's no reason for me to form any positive habits in the first place."

"Just the same…" Darce stepped over to his friend, plucked the cigarette from between Chas' fingers, and took it to the bathroom, where he ground it out in the sink, easily overriding his friend's protests.

"You don't really need a tie, Darce. It's not a bloody debutante ball," Chas gestured to his own casual attire: slacks, a button-down shirt with the collar undone, and a smooth leather jacket over top. Darce frowned.

"Where are we going again?"

"Some little Mexican place a couple of streets over from where we're building YinYang. Saliva of Soul or something…"

"Are you sure it's not some drug-dealer-infested hole full of hookers and hippies who'll try to pick your pocket?"

"Jesus Darce, it's a mid-sized, nice little bar. I walked by it the other day, while it was closed. It's our nearest competition, and we ought to give it a look."

"Whatever it is, it'll hardly be competition for a fine establishment such as the one you're setting up."

"Still. We need to get out there and meet the locals, the tourists, the drinkers, the partiers…"

"I get you. But let me remind you that we are not, nor will we ever be, God-willing, either locals, tourists, drinkers, or partiers."

"Whatever, Darce. You know, it wouldn't hurt you to take the stick out of your ass and have fun once in a while."

"I have fun. I can have fun."

"Beyond being shut up with your laptop and headset phone. Not everyone can get their jollies from a conference call like you…Did I ever tell you how creepy you are when that happens?"

"No."

"Your eyes get all twitchy, man, and you get this _look_, like you could cannibalize some children or something."

"It's kill or be killed in the corporate world."

"Funny how I've never noticed that."

"That's because you make friends with everyone you meet. Whether this is wise or not is another matter."

"Better I make friends with everyone than you make enemies of everyone who _isn't_ planning on buying into your company."

"Think what you like. Will this work, do you think?" Darce looked over his outfit. Dark slacks, a white shirt, and a suit jacket.

"Why are you suddenly worried about impressing those whom you have so adamantly stated are beneath you in every possible respect?

"I'm not asking their opinion, I'm asking yours. You're the one who wants me to please everyone in spite of the fact it cannot be done."

"Cannot or will not?" Chas shook his head, laughing. "Dude, you look fine. Let's go."


	3. The C Man

"Jade! I need two more Bailey's, a pina colada, a Perrier with lime and a glass of the house red." Jade immediately began fixing the pina colada, while Isa slipped behind the counter and began pouring Bailey's into two iced glasses while she grabbed a Perrier with her other hand. Silently, she cursed Lupe for the thousandth time that evening. Katarina was being useless, as usual, only serving drinks as much as she had to in order to keep Isa from throttling her. This left Jade to man the bar full-time while Isa served drinks, took orders, and tried to keep up. Maria had barricaded herself in the office until the bar hit the after-dinner crowd, then she made her excuses and left. Isa was already feeling the strain between her shoulder blades and on the back of her neck by the time 8 o'clock rolled around, and the night was far from over. She leaned over to whisper to Jade, which was more like talking loudly close to Jade's ear due to the noise made by the crowded pub and the band in the background. "I'm going to die by the time this night is over! There's way too much work for us to do alone. Kat's been standing over by that table of college students for the last twenty minutes, and she hasn't served a drink in twice as long."

"Don't worry about it Isa! If you feel tired, you can go upstairs and I'll continue working down here."

"No way am I leaving you here by yourself!" Isa groaned as she poured the red wine into a glass. "If only we had one more person who knew how to tend bar…"

"Why don't I give Toby a call and see if he can come down and tend bar for the rest of the shift? It won't be this hectic all night, and then you could rest a bit."

"You too. You deserve it." Isa nodded. "Call Toby and tell him he's a lifesaver." Isa placed all the drinks on her serving tray and set out to deliver them to the table on the far side of the room. On her way there, she saw the all-too-familiar leer of Colin Priestly smirking up at her from where he sat, alone at his table, sipping a Heineken and trying to bob his head in time to the music. Tonight Colin was wearing tight leather pants and a polyester shirt that seemed to shimmer slightly. Isa averted her eyes and set down the drinks, trying to muster a pleasant smile for the group of tourists seated at the table. All too late she realized that her posterior was directly facing Colin, and she stood, straight and stiff as steel rod, trying to gracefully inch her way back to the safety of behind the bar. She took her serving tray and tried to hold it nonchalantly behind her, as if to shield her butt from his lecherous glances. At last she reached the bar and darted behind it, sagging against the edge of the counter.

"God Jade, he's actually sparkling tonight!" Her whisper was almost a wail as Jade returned from the kitchen, where she'd phoned for her friend Toby to come and help tend bar.

"Oh hush, hon I know." Jade patted Isa's arm reassuringly. "Don't worry. Toby will be here soon and you can escape for a little sit-down in the kitchen."

Toby arrived shortly thereafter, and Jade ushered the distraught Isa into the kitchen.

"Now then, you can sit here for a few minutes, have a drink of water, then come back out when you're ready."

"I'm not going back out there until he's gone. Tell him I've gone home for the evening. Tell him I'm feeling sick. Tell him I'm dead. Tell him I sneezed really hard and my ass fell off." Jade sighed and went back out, leaving Isa alone.

"Look, I think I'll just go back to your place for the evening," said Darce, whose apprehension only grew as they approached Salida del Sol. As customers entered and exited through the front door, he heard the strains of fast-paced mariachi music and the hoots, hollers and general murmur of the patrons inside. "I think I'm coming down with something…"

"Darce, I couldn't be more fearful of social interaction than you even if I clapped a tinfoil helmet on my head and hid under a pile of mattresses. Five minutes. Come on." Chas pulled open the door and leaned against it, holding it open and looking at Darce, his arms crossed over his chest.

A moment later, a thirty-something man with a bald spot and bad cologne stepped out of the bar, brushing past Chas on his way out. He nodded politely to Chas, then turned in Darce's direction to start off down the street. Darce was already eyeing the man's tight leather and polyester outfit in mild revulsion. The fellow did a double take at Darce and ran a hand over what was left of his hair, which was greased back. The man had a heavy hand with the Dippity-Do, Darce noted with raised eyebrows. The man stopped in front of Darce and grinned widely.

"He-ey! It's the Big D! What up, dawg?" The man stretched out his hand in an attempt to perform some kind of hip-hop handshake.

"Excuse me?"

"Man, I thought we'd seen the last of each other back in Philly! Man, it's a small world. Small world, my man!"

"Do I know you?" Darce asked quietly. The man was struck dumb. Unfortunately this was only for a moment.

"_Dude! It's me!_ The C-man!"

Chas snickered behind his hand, then turned it into a polite cough. Darce glared at Chas, then turned his befuddled attention back to the problem at hand. At showing no sign of recognition, the _In Living Color _reject waggled his head from side to side and slid his hands back and forth, palms down, as though he were scratching an invisible record. "Colin Priestly!" He held out his arms in front of him in a _ta-da! _motion as though he expected applause. Darce knew he had to react somehow to this entity. He nodded slowly, his eyes snapping to Chas and frantically telegraphing panic, as if to say _I haven't a clue who this guy is._

"Riiiiight…from Philly?" When Colin nodded enthusiastically, Darce carefully picked his way among the conversation, trying not to make a misstep. "And you were back in…?"

"I was the owner of The Joint. That little nightclub you sold me?"

Now Darce remembered. The Joint had cost him more than it was worth, and he'd sold it off to this chump at rock bottom dollar.

"Ah right. How's that business going for you?" Colin tried to put his hands in his pants pockets rather nonchalantly, but didn't succeed, as the pants were far too tight to admit a dime into his pocket, much less his hands. He fumbled for a moment, putting his hands on his hips, then finally crossing his arms across his chest.

"Uh, it was…a-hem…it was, uh, going well." Colin waggled his head again, a motion Darce now took to be a nod. "It, uh, it," Colin cleared his throat again. "It burned down…a few months back."

"Sorry to hear that." Darce avoided looking at Chas over Colin's shoulder, who was doubled over, silently trying to contain his laughter.

"Yeah, yeah."

"So you're in LA…?"

"Oh I'm looking to invest in a new business. Uh, the insurance from the fire wouldn't exactly allow me to re-build…" _Surprise, surprise, _thought Darce. "But I could stand to buy into a partnership of some kind…" Colin trailed off, leaving the question open.

"Yeah, well, I suppose LA is a great place to get back on your feet."

"Oh yeah, it's great. And the girls are top quality. Choice cuts. Grade A meat, if you know what I'm saying. Plus, it's, like, at least 70 degrees year round, so there's no shortage of halter tops and short shorts." Colin dug his elbow into Darce's ribs and chuckled wheezily.

"So you're off for the night?" Darce said quickly. This conversation had to end; fast.

"Uh, yeah, looks like. Hey, so I'll uh see you around sometime? Nice talking to you! We'll get together, do lunch…" Colin walked off, taking long strides and hitching his gait so that his corpulent rump swayed in his leather pants. Darce blew out a breath and tried to focus on not throwing up. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared again at Chas, who was standing there, snickering.

"I wonder what sparked The Joint…"

"Shut up."

"Hey Darce…can I be the C-man too?"

"No."

"Hey, when you think about it…weren't we all the C-man at some point of our lives?"

"Chas, get in the bar."

"Oh so you're coming in now?"

"I can see the only way to get you to shut the hell up is to drink you under the table."

"Now you're talking."

"I wish _you_ weren't."

"Now, now, you _know _I get even chattier when I drink."

"Is that even possible?"

"Oh it is; and you shall shortly see how!" Chas merrily sallied forth into Salida del Sol, and Darce stepped in behind him, letting the door swing shut behind him with great trepidation.


	4. Love at First Fight?

"Isa! What are you doing just sitting in the kitchen by yourself? You need to get out there and make the drinks for the men customers! You will never get a man unless you _try_ harder! Why can you not wear maybe a shorter skirt, no?" Isa sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"Hola, Mama. What is it this time?" Senora Benedicte settled herself at the kitchen table and folded her arms across her bosom, leveling what she believed to be a formidable glare at her eldest daughter.

"How do I hear you have fired Lupe from her job?" Her mother's thickly accented English gave Isa no difficulty in sensing her mother's quivering, indignant rage.

"I did nothing of the kind. Lupe walked off from work today, and—"

"She hurt herself! And you fired her!"

"Lupe did not seriously injure herself, and she decided to _quit_."

"_She_ said you _fired_ her!"

"Lupe also said she was studying all last week for her exams, and she was out with men. Not boys. _Men._"

"Don't tattle like that on your sister, Isa, it's not nice at all. And as for your sister's social activities, well at least _one_ of my daughters stands a chance of getting married and giving me grandchildren!"

"Mama!"

"Yes!" thundered Senora Benedicte accusingly. "Lupe is my only daughter who behaves as a lady should! None of this…_career_ business you and your sisters are trying to get." She wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something foul. "Lupe is doing her duty as a daughter! It wasn't good enough that your father had no sons to follow him in his business by providing for us all, but you buy the business from him and run it as though you wish _you_ were his son instead of his daughter!"

"Mama," said Isa firmly. "There's nothing wrong with me having a career. Papa always knew he'd eventually hand things over to me, anyhow!"

"Your Papa…" said her mother with a wounded sigh, "always wished he'd had a son, and I was saddened that I could not give him one. But four daughters! Four daughters, and three of them behaving as though they could take all the time in the world before they settle down and marry and have children! Lupe is the only one who is trying to make me happy! Isa, you are twenty-six years old, and still no man on the horizon who will support you! And you're not even trying to find one! I give my life to raising you ungrateful…"

"Mama, twenty-six is hardly over the hill in terms of child-bearing years! And I want to marry for love, and if I never find love, then I shall never marry!"

Mrs. Benedicte clutched at her heart.

"You will kill me Isa! I thought you would have loved your mother enough to at least give me the respect I deserve! The respect of having grandchildren and my daughters safely married! Oy…I can see it all…ten years from now you'll be a spinster running a run-down old bar!"

"Mama, Salida del Sol is not run down!"

"…and if I'm lucky you'll have maybe found a nice widower to take you in and raise his children! Is that what you want Isa? To raise children who are not your own?"

"Not exactly, but…"

"Well then find a man and _marry him_! Isa, you are not like your sister Lupe, you may only have a few good years left before you start to get wrinkles! Ay Dios…" As her mother began to prattle in her native Spanish, Isa simply stood and left the kitchen, answering her mother's accusations and grievances with a cheery:

"Adios, Mama!" The door swung shut behind Isa, muffling then eventually silencing her mother's long-winded rampage. Isa blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, then peeked out to where Jade stood behind the bar, pulling the taps for two glasses of dark ale.

"Is he gone?" Her voice was a dry whisper, barely audible even as she stood close to Jade in the jolly noise that swirled around them. Jade nodded.

"Just left. Now come on, Toby promised to man the bar and you and I can relax a little and enjoy the music." Isa snorted indignantly as she passed her gaze over the crowd in the darkened room.

"As if there are any men here worth dancing with. They're all strangers, and the regulars are my papa's friends or sons of my papa's friends." Isa made a face. Jade grinned shyly.

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

"No, strangers are just touchy-feely gropers waiting to molest you on some dark street corner." Jade just rolled her eyes a smirked a little.

"Not everyone has your penchant for cynicism, dearest. Well, I have drinks to serve," Jade loaded the glasses of ale onto her tray and slipped out from behind the bar.

As Jade stepped down from the bar to cross the room, she nearly collided head on with a tall young man who had just entered the bar. Her sharp reflexes deftly balanced the tray in an instant, managing not to spill a drop of the drinks as they slid crazily around the wobbling tray. The man uttered a quiet "whoa!" and reached out his hands to steady her by grasping her shoulders. Jade was so focused on maintaining her balance; she didn't look up for a moment as the young man spoke.

"Wow, hey, I'm really sorry about that. Did I spill any of it on your shirt? I'll pay for the drinks if I…"

"Oh, no. No. I'm fine. They're fine. The drinks are…" Jade looked up, slightly flustered, into the most gorgeous pair of brown eyes she had ever seen. They were like chocolate, bittersweet chocolate, and so dark they were almost black. Yet there was a hidden smile, a glint of humour, a flare of laughter that burned and shone steadily behind them. "…Fine…" Jade murmured, then she coughed a little, as she seemed to have something rough caught in her throat.

"That's great…to hear. So you're…they're…" Chas gazed into the sweetest face he had ever laid eyes upon. Starry ebony eyes were fringed by long, inky lashes that curled charmingly upwards, set in a delicate face of dusky rose-gold. He couldn't even find words to describe the shape, colour, texture of her lips. He leaned in unconsciously, and discovered that she smelled potently of jasmine and fabric softener. The exotic of the Orient met the comfort of home and fresh laundry, and Chas felt as though he'd already been drinking for hours. "…Perfect…" Her smiled brilliantly at her, a reaction that was no less heartfelt just because he'd smiled so often before.

Chas stepped back to let her pass with her tray, and Jade hesitated a moment, looking about with furtive eyes, as though to get her bearings before she smiled shyly back, bobbed her head silently and continued across the room to deliver the drinks to the customers. At one point, in clearing a recently vacated table of glasses, she tried to casually look back over her shoulder, back towards the bar. The man stood next to the bar, leaning his elbows casually on its glossily polished top. He appeared to be in light-hearted conversation with the man he'd come in with, and Jade felt a small rush of disappointment that she'd been forgotten so easily, so quickly. Then again, she admonished herself, there was no reason to assume he had felt the strange shifting in his stomach, the fluttering warmth that cascaded around her heart, which had quickened its beat in the few moments of their conversation. Jade lowered her eyes to her task and turned to head back to the bar, blushing a little at her conceited thoughts. Why should he be attracted to her? Just because nearly every other man she had ever known had made a pass at her at some point, why should he? Maybe he just wasn't attracted to her. Jade felt another twinge of shame, this time, maybe of regret or defeat. With a weary sigh, she hefted her tray onto her hip and began to wend her way back towards the bar. As she neared the place she knew he was standing, she threw her chin up with a little bit of a defiant twinkle in her eye. There was no reason she should be disappointed because she couldn't hold a man's attention beyond their short moments of conversation. She didn't care one bit what he thought of her.

"Hi there, I'm Chas. Chas Lee." Jade blinked and stopped, realizing there was a hand held out in front of her. She let her gaze slide over the wrist, up the arm, shoulder, neck, back to those eyes. She smiled a little, stalling for time as she gathered her thoughts and deposited her tray on the counter. She slowly stretched out her hand and Chas took it, shaking it strongly. His grip was firm, but not crushing, and his hands were warm and smooth. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier after I almost so rudely ran you down. You seemed a bit busy at the moment." Jade allowed her smile to blossom fully, hiding her happiness behind no guile or pretense.

"Yeah," she said, her shyness still niggling at the back of her mind. There was a short pause, and Jade began to panic, knowing she ought to say something, but she couldn't remember what. Chas seemed to sense her scrambling thoughts, and he smoothly prompted her onward.

"Are you going to tell me your name, Miss, or am I going to have to guess? Is it Hannah? Susan? Bronwyn? Oscar?" Jade burst out laughing, Chas' warmth and conversation having loosened her verbal block.

"No," she said, still laughing and shaking her head a little. "My name is Jade. Jade Lian"

"Well," said Chas. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jade…" He took her hand, which he'd kept hold of during and after their handshake, and raised it to his lips, placing a kiss on the knuckles of her right hand.

"The same," stammered Jade, dropping her eyes to the floor. In all the times she'd ever been approached by men, a kiss on the hand was hardly the standard pattern.

"If I may…" Chas turned and glanced over his shoulder. "Introduce my good friend here, Darce Williams."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Williams." She offered him her hand to shake after loosening it from Chas' grip, and Darce seemed to deliberate a moment before he took her hand in a curt, swift shake.

"Likewise, I'm sure." Darce cleared his throat and looked away, around the bar, taking in his surroundings with what seemed to be mild disdain. Jade didn't see this, and she smiled at him as well, eager to include everyone who was a friend of Chas' in her circle of respect and admiration.

"Look, I know you're probably in the middle of a shift and everything," said Chas, "but I was wondering if maybe we could take the time out to maybe dance a song or something. I mean, that is if…you don't have a boyfriend or anything, do you? I mean, not like you wouldn't or couldn't because you totally could or should, in all logic, have…someone." Jade smiled, taking the compliment as she found it amid Chas' disjointed banter.

"I'd love to…just give me a minute…" She stepped behind the bar, raising a hand as if to keep him there while she dashed back to the door of kitchen, where Isa stood mixing a cocktail. Chas watched her lean over to speak to Isa, her eyes never leaving Chas for two moments together. He grinned as Isa glanced in his direction, and she smiled politely, but reservedly, giving him a more appraising glance as Jade continued to whisper in her ear. Chas couldn't hear what she said over the music, so he turned his eyes to Darce, who was still gazing about the room with placid resentment.

"Man, did you _see_ that girl?"

"What? Oh," Darce followed Chas' gaze to the petite Chinese girl. "See what?"

"She has got to be the most gorgeous thing I have seen in my life…am I right or what?"

"She's cute, I'll give you that."

"_Cute_? She's way beyond _cute._ A monkey is _cute._ My sister in a pie-eating contest is _cute_. But _her_…" he shifted his gaze back to Jade. "She's further above anything I had ever imagined…" Darce tuned out a little as his friend rambled on for a bit, trying not to sigh with relief as the mariachi band took its first break and a guitar-player-cum-DJ began to play some popular rock songs, blaring chords from the bar's sound system. Taking his glass in hand, he sifted to the far end of the bar and leaned against it, ignoring everyone who looked at him.

Jade sprang towards them a moment later, having gotten the go-ahead from Isa to take a break for a while. She folded her apron and left it behind the bar as she took Chas' hand, smiling widely as she found his grin infectious. As he took her hand and they went out to the small dancing area, she laughed, and he laughed too, both in awe at what was happening.

Isa took the tray of glasses Jade had cleared from the table and began to wash up a little. She stood behind the bar, polishing glasses and smiling as she watched Jade with Chas, dancing and laughing at some joke he'd just told her. Isa outright chuckled as Chas grabbed Jade's hand and spun her in an old-style swing-dancing move that made Jade squeal in surprise, then dissolve into giggles. Isa was amazed and overjoyed to see her shy best friend—who was more like a sister to her than her real sisters most of the time—coming out of her shell and enjoying herself. Isa couldn't remember the last time a man had approached Jade so courteously yet openly. Most bantered pleasantries about a grand total of two minutes before they went in for the kill and asked Jade to come home with them. As far as Isa's sharp eyes could tell, Chas hadn't even tried to cop a feel.

The girl's good friend Toby manned the bar alongside Isa, and he was wearing tight blue jeans and a striped button-down shirt.

"You're looking very country tonight," Isa said with a grin.

"I feel very country tonight," he said, laughing. "Whoo! 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy!'" He did a little jokey lasso-motion with his arm and an impromptu line dance behind the bar. Isa laughed richly at this, shaking her head as tears of mirth threatened to fall down her face. Toby was unabashedly, flamboyantly gay, and he often joined in when Isa and Jade felt the need to gripe about man troubles. "So hon," he said, leaning his elbows on the counter and popping a pretzel into his mouth. "Tell me everything. I knew things were getting a little hectic down here, Jade explain to me how you were a little shorthanded."

"Lupe threw a fit and quit." Toby's expression turned doleful. Isa tried not to laugh as the pity in his huge brown eyes made him look a little like a puppy dog.

"Oh, honey…I'm so sorry…"

"Oh it's no skin off my nose if she quits. Waitresses are a dime a dozen in LA."

"Tell me about it. But I wasn't pitying you for the Quit, I was pitying your for the Fit."

Isa shrugged.

"I'm used to the Fits." Toby slung a friendly arm around her shoulders. "So how's Les Garcons?" asked Isa, referring to the club that Toby owned in the heart of downtown LA.

"Les Garcons is fan-_tas_tic," said Toby. "There was in fact this really yum guy dancing off by himself in the corner, and I was just about to go up to him and tell him I owned the place when Jade called."

"Sorry to stand in the way of true love…" said Isa wryly.

"Oh no worries," said Toby, shaking his head with a sigh. "You'd think in LA it'd be a lot easier to find a nice, stable guy. He'd've probably turned out to be straight, anyway."

"It's a gay club." Toby just gave Isa a _look._

"With my luck, he's straight. So of course I came to the rescue of my two favourite girls…" He pressed his cheek against Isa's and she grinned, pinching him on the chin.

"In all fairness, you and I are in the same boat. My mother was here again…"

"Oh muffin…"

"So it looks like Jade is the only one even close to getting any in the near future. And damn it if that yummy little tamale isn't being the perfect gentleman. They probably won't even kiss goodnight." Isa harumphed irritably. "I can't even have a vicarious sex life through Jade, and yet look at her, she's on Cloud Nine right now…" Isa softened a little at the sight of her friend being so happy. Toby followed her gaze.

"Oh he _is_ a tasty bit isn't he?" Toby shot Isa a wicked grin. "Why don't we head out after closing time together? I know this _great_ little all-night place we can go to that has dim-sum to _die _for."

"Why this sudden craving for Chinese?" asked Isa playfully.

"No idea." Toby looked at Jade and stamped his foot a little. "Just _look_ at that! She's never going to get enough action to satisfy the three of us unless she puts a little more effort into it!"

"What in the world do you mean?"

"If she wants him, she has to get him! None of this shy modesty and coy blushing. She should be all over him right now!"

"Maybe she doesn't feel that way about him."

"Oh who cares? If she is to secure him as her sexual playmate, she must show _more_ lust than she feels, not less."

"Where do you get this logic?" Isa was almost incredulous.

"Honey, seeing as you and I are both in what could be termed a 'dry spell' in terms of our recent sensual frolicking in the Land of Red-Hot Lovin', you are in no position—you'll pardon the pun—to question any of my logic so long as it leads to satisfaction."

"The ends justify the means?"

"If the 'ends' you speak of is sex, then yes." Isa just laughed and shook her head and Toby went off to furnish a drink order from a couple of tourists.

Isa went to one end of the bar and leaned against the kitchen's doorframe, half-hidden from view. She watched curiously as Jade left Chas for a moment to clear some tables quickly, setting the empties on the bar before returning to take some orders from a couple who had just entered the bar. Chas sauntered over to where his African-American friend was leaning against the bar, cradling a Heineken as if it were his firstborn. Isa listened with a smile

"Come and dance, Darce, it's more fun than it first looks."

"That would make it an upgrade from abysmal to horrendous? You know I don't dance in public. Especially when 'public' is an unlit cesspool of a bar that looks like it was dragged across the border behind someone's truck."

"Only when you're sober. You've had at least five sips of your beer since we got here, on the Chas-o-meter, you're pissed off your ass, so come and dance."

"Chas, not everyone has the happy ability to NOT be able to hold their liquor like you. I recall you once got drunk of about a tablespoon of whiskey."

"In all fairness, that stuff was home-made by my good friend Darryl, and it was _potent._"

"Look, I'm not dancing. Besides, I don't know any of the girls here. I can't just grab the prettiest one here and drag her out onto the floor and 'shake what my Momma gave me.'"

"You can shake a superiority complex and a bad sense of humour?"

"Shut up. I'm not dancing."

"Look, if the girls are a problem, I can get Jade to introduce you to someone. I'm sure she knows just about everyone. Look, there's a girl behind the bar who looks to be her boss or her friend or co-worker or whatever. She's good looking too, I could ask Jade to—"

"Who are you talking about?" Darce glanced over his shoulder until he saw Isa, who focused her gaze across the room to avoid being caught eavesdropping. He paused a moment, then turned back to Chas. "Are you out of your mind? No way am I dropping everything just to humour you by dancing with a bar-tending Chiquita banana-senorita whose had one too many enchiladas."

"Hey, despite what you may think, I happen to believe she's got a lot going on for her. In fact if Jade weren't already the mistress of my heart, my nether-regions may want to take a stab at her friend over there."

"'Mistress of your heart'? You've known her all of fifteen minutes and you're ready to pledge your undying love?" Darce pushed his friend off with a scoff of disbelief. "Just go back and dance with her, enjoy her company. You're wasting your time with me." Chas looked sternly at his friend before going off to re-claim his partner. Darce leaned back against the bar and sipped his beer while Isa seethed inwardly, but only for a moment.

_Oh you are not even worth the effort, _she spat silently at the back of Darce's head.

"I need a Bailey's on the rocks and a glass of red," said Toby, returning from making the rounds as a waiter.

"I got both," said Isa, hit by sudden inspiration. She placed two glasses on the counter in front of her and behind Darce. First she filled the one with red wine, then began placing the ice in the other. As she worked, her hand 'slipped,' and a small chunk of ice flew out of the glass and wedged itself expertly in the nook between Darce's neck and the back of his shirt collar. The ice chunk nestled downwards then plunged from view down the back of his shirt.

"What the—?" Darce placed his bottle of beer on the bar with a thud, trying to reach the middle of his back, where the ice had settled and was beginning to melt rather uncomfortably.

"Oh, I am so sorry sir, the piece of ice just got away from me…" Isa grabbed a towel and leaned over the bar under the pretext of helping Darce to locate and extract the ice. Her elbow hit the second glass, which tilted crazily, sending a slow wave of dark red wine over the bar and onto Darce's white shirt.

Darce swore.

Isa tried not to smirk.

"Oh I do apologize! Here…" She flapped the towel uselessly. Darce grabbed it and began to blot at his shirt, glaring at Isa, who rested her chin on her fist and smiled sweetly. "Accidents do happen…"

"Far too many where you're concerned," spat Darce pithily.

"If you'd prefer the tidy up, the washrooms are through that door there," Isa pointed across the room, to the small hallway. "And if you'd like to _leave,_" she said, her voice still saccharine and even, "the exit door, is _there._" She offered another sunny smile and Darce strode off to the bathroom, cursing under his breath.

When Darce came out of the bathroom two minutes later, finding that beyond drying his shirt, there was little he could do to remove the stain, he stopped dead as his gaze narrowed on the harpy who had spilled on him—he was sure it'd been on purpose. _These filthy, uncivilized—_Darce stopped as he saw the Mexican girl lean over to her friend—he was pretty sure he was gay—and whisper something into his ear, nodding in Darce's direction discreetly. Darce's lip curled with dark satisfaction. Would she now proceed to cry because some big ol' meanie had called her tubby? Okay maybe he'd been a bit overzealous in declaring her overly plump, but she _did_ have more of a figure than most women he knew. Then again most women he knew were stick-insects with peroxide blonde hair, silicon breasts, and fake-n-bake tans. The girl behind the bar had a curvy figure, rosy olive-toned skin, and lustrous, thick black hair that for some reason made Darce's palms itch as though he'd like to run his hands—

_Stop it Darce. Stop it. She ruined your shirt, and now she's going to sob all over her friend's shoulder because…_

Darce never finished the thought. His mouth fell open as the sound of Isa's laughter reached his ears. Clear as a bell, her laugh surrounded his senses in a smoky, liquid warmth that almost made him feel drowsy. Something hot like a firebrand frissoned down his spine, but he brushed it off, convincing himself it was anger and incredulity.

The harpy was _laughing_ at him.


	5. Bonding Rituals

"Jade…Jade, are you asleep?" Isa's whisper curled around the corner a moment before she poked her head into Jade's darkened bedroom.

"Mmm? Timesit?"

"Three am."

"Whyyyyy?" Jade moaned slightly as she stirred under the covers and then sat up, rubbing her eyes blearily as she hugged her knees and stretched, yawning. For Isa, this was invitation enough; and she sat on the corner of Jade's bed, drawing her knees inside her long nightshirt that had a picture of Speedy Gonzales on the front.

"It's time for a Talk."

"But…but it's so early!"

"I'll let you sleep in. Talk. Now. Remember our pact?" Jade mumbled and dragged the duvet over her head. "Jaaaaade. Remember? Recite the promise you made."

"'Communication is key to a good relationship. I hereby promise that we will have Talks whenever we need them, on whatever subject, in any time or place, no matter who initiates the Talk, the Talk will not end until both conversationalists are satisfied with their discussion.'" Jade's voice floated out from under the sheets, then her head appeared, her straight hair mussed only for a moment before she ran her slim fingers through it, combing it nicely. "I'm sorry. I'll never dispute the pact again."

"Good. And feel free to wake me up to discuss something mundane in revenge."

"I'm no good at revenge," said Jade simply.

"You could be, if only you tried to unlock your inner bitch."

"Do I even have one?"

"It's debatable, sweetheart. You're just far too good for the revenges and petty disagreements that drive everyone else in this world."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I planned to wait until morning…"

"See, your intentions were good!"

"…but I just couldn't sleep without knowing. What is up with you and Chas?"

"He—he's a very…a very sweet guy, the perfect gentleman. I…I think he's very nice. I like him…"

"He's also damn fine, girl! Don't you dare tell me you didn't look at him that way. Such a behind I've never seen!"

"Well, it was very gratifying to be asked to dance for so long. I must say, it caught me by surprise. All of it…"

"As if it should! Jade, dearest, you're a jewel, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. The only thing that surprised _me_ was that Chas didn't have a stroke from sheer joy."

"Isa!" Jade's eyes were wide.

"I don't mean to wish him any physical harm…I'm only saying…" Isa smirked gently. "No, he seemed like quite the chivalrous young man. You have my full permission to fuck his brains out." Jade turned bright pink and pulled her sheet up to the bridge of her nose.

"Isa, how can you even _say_ such…I can't even…I never thought to…"

"Girl, _please._" Isa's quirked brow said it all. "It's cool. You've had crushes on assholes before, so Chas seems like a decent alternative."

"I've never…"

"Yes, you _have._ Remember Todd Drake?"

"I'm sure he didn't mean to—"

"Turn out to be a drug dealer?"

"Well, he told me he was in investments."

"Jade, sweetie…" Isa laughed softly. "You cannot always think so well of people. It just isn't safe. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'll try to be more discerning, if it means saving you the worry."

Isa grinned to dispel the soft blue mood that had fallen across their early-morning silence.

"So I'm guessing Chas is short for Chastity?"

Her only answer was a gentle sock on the arm from Jade's curled fist.

* * *

"Stop grinning before I hit you," muttered Darce irritably as Chas unlocked his apartment door.

"What? I'm happy. Look, I'm sorry about your shirt, but honestly, it's not like it's Shantung silk or anything. Can't you go down to the GAP tomorrow and buy another one?"

"The GAP?" Darce's horrified expression was priceless, but Chas bit his tongue as it was late and he didn't want to start something or spoil his own good humour.

"Right. I forgot, you're the guy who sends out his laundry to be done."

"I have more important things to do with my time than fuss with stain remover and sort my lights from my darks. That gives others some gainful employment, thereby keeping the economy stable."

"Oh, please. You're just a lazy son of a bitch and you know it." Before Darce could open his mouth, Chas threw up his hands in mock defense. "And I use the term SOB simply in general, not in specific reference to your most excellent Mommy Dearest."

"I 'm going to bed…" Darce brushed past Chas as he stalked off down the hallway towards his room.

"Suit yourself. Goodnight, Darce," said Chas amicably, lying on the couch, pulling a cigarette from the pack that lay on the low, glass-topped coffee table.

"Goodnight Chas." Darce paused by the door, and Chas glance at him as he lit the cigarette with a practiced flick of his silver lighter. There was a sharp _clink_ as he snapped the lighter closed, then a slow sucking sound as he drew on the cigarette, the tip glowing red in the dimly blue gloom that gathered to spite the city lights outside. Chas glanced at his friend and held his gaze for a moment; then, a slow smile spread across his features and he threw back his head, laughing out loud.

"You had fun tonight, admit it!" Chas gestured to make his point, his cigarette tracing a dully-glowing line of red across the air in front of him.

"Yes, because I enjoy having my expensive clothes ruined by a vindictive bar hag," retorted Darce, sarcasm positively oozing from his tone.

"I'll bet you liked the attention. You love playing the martyr, Darce."

"Shut up. You were too wrapped up in "Miss Jade's" fine eyes to even notice what I was doing, particularly as it concerns a certain Hispanic wench who destroyed a perfectly good Armani shirt."

"You wore _Armani_ to go out to a _bar_?" Chas chuckled, as if he was enjoying this immensely. "God, Darce, I thought you couldn't get any more uppity than you already were!"

"I am not uppity, as you so eloquently put it. There's a difference between having standards and being an overbearing prick."

"Like, for example," pointed out Chas, "you're an overbearing prick sometimes?"

"No."

"For the purposes of our demonstration, let's hypothesize that you are. Now. I say to you: 'Hey Darce, let's go out to a mid-sized bar for casual drinks.' You reply: 'Sure Chas, that sounds great. Just let me go talk to my personal shopper so I may arrange a suitable _ensemble_ for the evening.'"

"Stop. Now."

"…'Do you think the plum silk tie is a little too heavy for spring? Would the mauve work better with my complexion?'" Chas' voice went up an octave to a feminine pitch.

"Chas…" Darce sighed and shook his head, with a true look of regret on his face. "You've been going out of your way to get on my nerves all evening. Don't make me go grade school on your ass."

"Whoa, hold on, let me put out my cig." Chas sat up, swinging his legs to the floor as he ground out the cigarette in the cut-glass ashtray. Darce glared at him. "What? Do you enjoy being a fire-hazard? If I'm going to smoke, I'm going to smoke responsibly." He dropped the remnants of the paper, filter, and tobacco into the ashtray and stood, facing Darce.

"Smoke responsibly is an oxymoron."

"You're just being a moron. Lighten up."

"That's it, it's playtime," Darce's glare narrowed.

"Bring it on, _Armani._"

Chas let out a muffled _oohf_ as Darce plowed into him. Chas' arms locked around his friend's knees as he went down from the punch, pulling Darce to the floor, where they proceeded to clasp each other's limbs in a bizarre, drink-fueled fist fight-cum-wrestling match. Over the rustling of clothing and various expulsions of breath and exclamations of pain, the two continued to argue.

"You're repressed!" spat out Chas as he punched a fist into Darce's rock-hard abs.

"You're turning into a hippie!" hollered Darce as he regained his breath.

"For fuck's sake, all I did was _dance_ with a girl who happened to not be a debutante heiress or your sister! I honestly cannot follow your fucked-up logic of the social hierarchy." Chas drew back from where he sat on Darce's chest, pinning him, looking genuinely confused for a moment, rather like a puppy that's lost sight of a favourite toy. "I'm not completely blind. You were practically drooling when you were looking at Jade's friend, even _after_ she knocked the wine on you." Chas paused, and Darce was speechless in petulant, uncomfortable-revelations silence for a moment before Chas continued, with a note of smugness in his voice. "Is _that_ why you had fun, even if you won't acknowledge it?" Darce's silence was meant to garner arguments for the negative, but its effect was the exact opposite. "Holy shit, you like her! What's-her-name…Isa! _Damn_ Darce! You—FUCKIT!" This was in response to Darce's fist flying at Chas' face, connecting to his nose with the crack of bone and flesh. Chas rolled off Darce, holding his hands to his face as blood began to stream from between his fingers. Darce sat up, and there was a moment of silence.

"Dude…I'm sorry. Is it broken?" Darce reached for Chas' face as if to check, but Chas shied away, hissing in a breath of pain.

"Naaaah…I don't think so," Chas sniffed lightly, then winced, "maybe not," shaking his head. "No, I'm sorry. I make assumptions, and then I just push and push people's buttons until they blow a gasket."

"I'm sorry it had to be me." Chas offered a wan smile.

"If it had to be anyone, I'm glad it was you to break it. Ahhh fuck this takes me back."

"I told you—grade school."

"Exactly. Reminds me of the first fight I lost back in tenth."

"Break your nose?"

"Arm." Darce flinched and they shared a moment of silence in respect for Chas' memory of pain. "Fucker threw me through a window at prep school."

"What were you fighting over?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really."

More silence as they sat on the floor, both unwilling to be the first to stand up and have to find a way to go on normally.

"Should we take you to the hospital?"

"Probably a good idea." Darce stood and gave Chas a hand up from the carpet, as Chas kept one hand clapped over his nose, thin rivulets of red beginning to stain the collar of his shirt.

"Tilt your head back. Should we get some ice before we head out? I'll drive."

"Fuck, like I'm going to drive_ myself_? Sure, ice sounds good." Darce grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and a towel from the bathroom and handed both to Chas, who wrapped the ice and held it to his face, already beginning to bruise and swell. Darce grabbed his keys as they left the apartment. As they walked towards the elevator, Chas laid a hand on Darce's shoulder.

"If Jade asks you…this was me defending an old lady who was being mugged," he said, a little indistinctly as the edges of pain blurred his eyes a little, gesturing at his nose.

"So you're going to see her again?" Darce spoke mildly, evenly,with no traces of disapproval or condescension in his tone.

Chas' lopsided grin spread slowly across his face, his teeth shining whitely amid the blood that was beginning to dry on his face.

"Yeah. Definitely."


	6. Kareominous Nite

**A/N: Updates won't always be this frequent. I just got inspired here. Hee. Not so much Chas-love in this, but we're focusing on the Toby-love for the most part, and also some realy-on Darcy-love. And some (shudder) Colin-attempts-at-love.

* * *

**

"…And you saved her from the mugger?" Jade's eyes were limpid and moist with awe and sympathy as she beheld Chas' bruised nose, covered with tape and a small plaster cast. They sat together at the bar

"…Yeah…well…" Chas gazed into Jade's eyes and gnawed on his lower lip at the small, proud smile that gently curved her lips. "Aw damn it, Jade, I can't lie to you. Actually, I got into a fight with Darce three days ago, and he gave me a good punch on the nose. But don't blame him, it totally wasn't his fault, you know, I was harassing him, and then I thought you might think I was stupid or into random violence. So I made up the story about the old woman and the mugger. Because then you might like me better, or…" Chas rambled onwards, worried that when he stopped he'd have to focus his gaze on her face as the happiness slipped from her eyes and the smile turned into a less-than-impressed frown.

"Chas…" Jade quietly interrupted him. "I'm sure Darce meant nothing by breaking your nose. And it means a great deal to me that you _were_ honest about what happened," Chas watched in amazement as the demure half-smile blossomed into a full grin. Jade was positively beaming with happiness, and she snickered a little. "Oh, don't let it worry you. Boys will be boys. I don't have 3 older brothers for nothing." Jade began to laugh sweetly, and Chas' own chuckles mixed with hers, and Isa smiled to herself, joyful at her friend's happiness.

"Okay everybody, we are just about ready to roll here!" Isa's voice magnified through the microphone as smiled brilliantly at the patrons of Salida del Sol, the regulars who came often for the kareoke nights. "Who wants to start things off?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Colin Priestly begin to stand, obviously struggling to haul his ass out of his chair, where he'd been happily employed in watching Isa set up the kareoke machine, with much bending and lifting involved. She shot a desperate glance to the back of the room, freezing her smile desperately on her face. "Toby! Toby, our resident musician! Come on up here and give us your best!" Toby immediately followed the path of Isa's glance and booked it up to the front, grabbing the mic just as Colin stood erect.

"Sure thing, hon! Good evenin' y'all, what's happening?" Isa gratefully stepped aside as Toby worked the crowd of regulars, slipping back into his native Texan accent. "_Tejano_ to the core…" she muttered, smiling to herself. Amid the tumult, cheers and catcalls, Toby hit a few buttons on the machine and began the kareoke night with a slow, bluegrass rendition of 'Lovers in a Dangerous Time.'

"I love this song!" said Isa to no one in particular as she settled back behind the bar to enjoy Toby's singing. The boy really had a fantastic voice. Pity about the gayness. Isa sighed disconsolately, resting her chin on her fist. Couples began to take to the small dance floor as Toby crooned in his utterly delectable baritone. Isa caught the eye of one of her regulars across the room and he signaled for a refill. Isa pulled another pint of Guinness and began to head across the room. Only when she was halfway there did she see Chas' hideously rude friend Darce standing, his back to the wall, looking about with the same air of disdain.

_Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by  
You never get to stop and open our eyes_

Too late and too proud to find another route, she swept past him with her head held high, delivering the drink to her papa's old friend Carlos with a grand gesture.

_One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall  
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all_

"Thirsty, Tio Carlito?" she asked with good humour, laughter sparkling in her eyes and humming in the tone of her voice. She threw a glance at Darce, and raised a brow almost imperceptibly in his direction before returning her attention to Carlos.

"More than you would believe," he returned with a chuckle. The portly man was like a second father to the girls, and Isa gave him a kiss on top of his bald head. Darce took a long sip of his beer, suddenly feeling the room must be overcrowded to make it so warm.

_These fragile bodies of touch and taste  
This fragrant skin this hair like lace_

"Why aren't you dancing, Tio?"

"You haven't asked me yet, Isabella," said the jolly old man, grinning at her in a teasing, flirty kind of way that was the least-threatening thing Isa had ever seen. "Besides, I haven't danced in years."

"What about with Tia Dolores?" Carlos grimaced.

"_Yo soy muy acabado…_I am too old."

"Nonsense! If you're up for dancing, I'll dance with you…"

"No," said Carlos, shaking his head. "I'm content to watch. Why don't you dance? Look, there's a nice young man right beside us. Why don't you take this young lady out onto the dance floor, _a la brava_?"

_Spirits open to the thrust of grace  
Never a breath you can afford to waste_

Darce nearly choked on his beer.

_When you're lovers in a dangerous time  
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime_

Isa gave Darce a cool gaze, then smiled coldly and tilted a brow.

"Sorry Tio, I don't mean to dance, actually…not with strangers, in any case."

"Darce Williams. Call me Darce." Darce stuck out his hand, which Isa shook firmly and swiftly, not keeping contact with his hand any longer than she needed to.

"Isabella Benedicte. My friends call me Isa."

"Would you like to dance, then, Isa?"

"Miss Benedicte, please. And no, thank you. I have work to do," Isa leveled a glare at Darce as she spun on her heel and strode back to the bar.

_Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight  
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight  
When you're lovers in a dangerous time_

So she wasn't as immovable as previously thought. Darce was oddly pleased by the discovery that Isa—Miss Benedicte—wasn't so wholly calm and unruffled as she thought she appeared. He resumed his position against the wall and ran a hand over his clean-shaven chin thoughtfully for a moment, then let his imperturbable mask of indifferent haughtiness fall back into place.

"Alright, that's me, who's next?" asked Toby with a grin. He glanced at Isa, who was making wild gestures and throat-cutting motions at Colin, who was again, attempting to rise from his chair, much to the amusement of Darce, who nonetheless kept a low-profile around 'the C-man.' Toby frantically swept the room with his eyes and settled on a plain figure near the back. "Maria! C'mon, girlfriend! Get up here! I've heard you singin' into your hairbrush when you thought no one was listening! Come ON! Hey everyone, doncha think Maria needs to get up here and give us a little of her dulcet tones?" Half-hearted cheers and more than a few shady comments were muttered under people's breath, because they all knew Maria hung around later than usual on kareoke nights for a reason, and she didn't need to be asked twice. With a small, sour smile, she made her way to the platform and punched some buttons. Facing the room, she cleared her throat as the first few bars spilled from the speakers.

_Every night in my dreams  
I see you. I feel you.  
That is how I know you go oooooon._

Behind the bar, Isa dropped her face into her hands. Maria tried so hard, but no amount of practice could cure tone-deafness, and Maria was consistently a half note below where she ought to be.

_Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on._

"Toby!" she hissed as her friend joined her behind the counter. "Why?"

"You were desperate. Colin is getting quicker. As far as I can tell, the only way to keep him off stage at this point is to keep Maria up there all night."

Isa swore, then groaned lowly.

"Best to get it over with, then…" she murmured.

"Exactly. And you can stay back here and I'll stay with you."

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on_

Now Maria was gazing straight at Colin Priestly where he sat, absorbed in checking his hair in the pocket mirror he carried with him. Maria began to move around the stage in some hokey pseudo-dance moves, making longing arm gestures to the front row in general and Colin in particular, who remained happily oblivious. Changing tacks, Maria barely waited until the limp applause was over before she began her second song of the evening. Fast-paced dance pop filtered into the room, and Maria began to hop about the mini-stage, shaking her hips and shoulders in a truly awkward manner.

_Dark sexy skin, my passion begins  
You're the center of my obsession  
Watching you dance in your leather pants  
My eyes see a true perfection_

Isa's swearing was now on full autopilot as Maria gyrated in front of an inattentive Colin.

_And I'm hypnotized by the rhythm of your hips  
It's hard to hide and I can't resist  
It's about your kiss_

"Ew."_  
It's about your lips_

"Grossness."_  
It's about the way you move your body_

"Barf."_  
It's about your style  
That drives me wild_

"Not."_  
It's the sexy things you're doing_

"COMA NOW!"

_Come and dance with me tonight  
Feel the rhythm deep inside  
Touch me now_

"KILL ME NOW!"  
_You can be my casanova_

Isa now sat behind the bar, hugging Toby's knees in unrelenting and abject horror, silently whimpering to herself. Maria went on to finish the song, with many interjections and repetitions of the chorus while she danced in what she obviously believed was a sexy style.

_I cross the room  
He smells my perfume  
Mi amor, a serious danger  
Temperatures rising  
And I'm fantasizing  
Making love to a beautiful stranger_

At this point, even Toby began to look a little green about the gills.

_My passions alive  
I'm feeling so high  
It's not the champagne  
That's driving me insane_

When at last the song was over, Tio Carlos stood up and waved to Maria before she could start another.

"Come sit with me, Maria, before some young man here loses his heart!" Maria glanced at an unperceiving Colin and her skinny little shoulders slumped a little as she slouched off the stage and went back to sit with her portly, balding "uncle."

"It's safe now Isa," said Toby, trying to be positive as he helped Isa to her feet

"No it's not. Three guesses who's on stage." Toby glanced over his shoulder. "Oh. I see."

"Exactly. Something tells me this is not going to be pretty."

"Is this thing on?" Colin tapped at her mic, making it squeal as it got too close to the speakers. He cleared his throat, coughing up some sexy, sexy phlegm and blowing his nose before beginning to sing, his eyes fastened on Isa.

_Every breath you take  
Every move you make  
Every bond you break  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you_

"Is anyone else royally creeped out by this?" whispered Toby to a white-faced Isa.

"Shitee-shit-shit-shit it's the _stalker song_!" gasped Isa. "I'm going to hate Sting forever now, and that's not good, because I _liked_ Sting."

"Yeah," said Toby with a genuine sigh of regret. "His voice is among the top 10 sexiest, maybe even tying with Mel Gibson's speaking voice. Mmm. Tantric."

"Toby. Not. _Helping,_"grumbled Isa. 

Every single day  
Every word you say  
Every game you play  
Every night you stay  
I'll be watching you

'This guy is a serious nut-job,' thought Darce as he clutched his bottle of beer to his chest in utter shock. Not the best song-choice with which to woo a woman. Darce glanced over at Isa to see how she was taking it, and he was surprised to see she stood her ground rather than escaping to the kitchen, obviously determined to wait out the storm. A small curl of respect coiled up somewhere in Darce's gut. As he caught Isa's eye, before she could muster a glare for him or anything, he raised his bottle to her in a silent toast. Before Isa had any time for any reaction other than a confused frown, Darce broke the eye contact and returned his gaze to Colin's butchering of the Police. 

Oh, can't you see  
You belong to me  
How my poor heart aches  
With every step you take

Even Chas and Jade, in their private little world of blossoming love noticed the vocal contortionist who now strutted his stuff on the stage solely for Isa's benefit. They exchanged puzzled frowns, and Jade sent Isa a sympathetic glance and Isa received her near-telepathic offer to join her to comfort or distract her, but Isa shook her head ever so slightly, urging Jade to stay put and enjoy herself.

Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you

"After this is all over, I am going upstairs, drawing all the curtains and hiding under my bed until he is dead," vowed Isa to Toby.

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace  
I dream at night I can only see your face  
I look around but it's you I can't replace  
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace  
I keep crying baby, baby, please...

Oh, can't you see  
You belong to me

"The hell I do."_  
How my poor heart aches  
With every breath you take_

"I hope the fucker has a heart attack and they can't cut him out of his polyester nightmare to give him the electro-paddles."

Every move you make  
Every vow you break

Colin stepped off the platform and began to move through the crowded room towards Isa, who balked.

"Who's great idea was it to get a cordless mic?" she muttered, wondering how the hell she'd handle this. Thankfully, Toby handled it for her. In a surprisingly graceful and catlike motion, he leapt over the bar and sat on the end, swiveling around on the polished surface so that he blocked Colin's access to Isa. Colin continued to move towards them, stopping just in front of Toby as he realized he couldn't get down on his knees in front of Isa for his grandly romantic finale. Since he'd moved over that way, he hardly knew what to do to move back to the stage, so he continued to stand there, singing…

…to Toby.

_Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you_

Toby leaned forward to Colin, who took an involuntary step back. Toby grinned slowly and fluttered his eyelashes. Isa, sitting on the floor behind the bar with her knees drawn up to her chest, clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle her laughter as Colin had no choice but to finish the song.

_Every move you make  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you_

_I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you..._

Colin wasted no time handing the mic to someone else as he threw down some bills to pay for his drink and hustled out of the bar. As the door swung shut behind him, the bar erupted into laughter, hoots, and applause as Toby stood on the bar and bowed deeply from the waist.

"Thank you, I'll be here all night!" he said, blowing kisses to the crowd. As he hopped down, Isa caught him in a great big hug, smooching him on the cheek along with a whispered 'thank you' in his ear.

"You're welcome," he said, giving her a loud, wet smack on the cheek in return. "Now," he continued. "It's your turn, my little songstress."

"What? No, no I couldn't…"

"Girl, you're going out there a prude, but you've GOT to come back a vamp!" Toby dragged Isa onto the stage and programmed the little machine before he gave her a resounding slap on the ass as he headed back to the bar.

"COWARD!" shouted Isa futilely after him as the crowd cheered her on. Shaking her head, she smiled and began to sing softly, not trying to dance or emote like Maria, simply singing the song as the letters on the screen lit up.

_Like a flower waiting to bloom  
Like a lightbulb in a dark room  
I'm just sitting here waiting for you  
To come home and turn me on_

Why was Darce staring at her? Beyond the fact that she was singing, alone, on stage, there was no reason for him to be gazing at her so intently, unless he was trying to scare her or make her feel inferior. Isa tilted her chin upwards and cocked a shoulder forward, playing to the crowd in order to spite Darce, whom she threw a smoky glare at before smiling slowly, seductively at the regulars in the front tables.

_Like the desert waiting for the rain  
Like a school kid waiting for the spring  
I'm just sitting here waiting for you  
To come on home and turn me on_

'Stop staring, Darce. Stop it,' he thought to himself.

_My poor heart, it's been so dark since you been gone  
After all, you're the one who turns me off  
You're the only one who can turn me back on_

Isa toyed with the low-cut neckline of her top, subtly dragging it down off one sun-kissed shoulder as she bathed the room in the brilliance of her dark, beguiling eyes. She grazed her lower lip with the edge of her sharp, white, even teeth, filling the bar with her low, slightly husky voice. Not record-worthy, but a pleasant voice nonetheless. Darce hardly knew what to do with himself, so he just let his gaze settle on Isa as she sang, letting her voice wash over his senses, making a warm, solid lump form somewhere between his chest and his stomach. He hoped he wasn't about to have a heart attack. She never looked directly at him, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She strode slowly in a circle around the small stage, brazenly flirting with every male in the entire front section, regardless of age or whether or not they had a date. Darce cleared his throat as he smiled to himself, thinking of the awkwardly angry silences that would be present tonight as the men drove their wives and girlfriends home.

_My hi-fi's waiting for a new tune  
The glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes  
I'm just sitting here waiting for you  
To come on home and turn me on  
Turn me on_

As Isa sang the last line, she snapped her gaze to Darce and lifted a brow in his direction. He nearly dropped his bottle of beer, and he quickly dropped his gaze to the floor, then raised it almost immediately back to Isa, who had something of a triumph in her air as she left the stage amid the friendly applause, declining invitations that she would sing another.

"Let's get some patrons in on this! Mia, how about you!" Isa went over to a woman who sat in a booth with a couple of her writer-friends, all three slowly writing in thick blank books and sipping vodka crantinis.

"I don't think that's—"

"Don't make me get Toby over here…" said Isa, nodding to where everyone's personal cheerleader stood behind the bar ogling a handsome young man who sat by himself. Mia gave a huffy sigh, but grinned.

"Fine…but only if you give me a free crantini" she downed the last of her drink and went up to the stage. Isa mixed her another drink and brought it to her as Mia selected her song and began to sing amidst the loud audience approval.

_Never know how much I love you_

_Never know how much I care_

_When you put your arms around me_

_I get a fever that's so hard to bear_

_You give me fever…_

"Damn straight…" muttered Darce, glaring at the drink he held, feeling that no amount of beer could cool him off tonight. Curse these wily vixens. Chas was as good as lost for the time being in Jade's wide eyes; and as for himself…

Well, thank God she was just an LA bar-mistress. But…

_What a lovely way to burn…_

* * *

**Disclaimer: All lyrics are property of Barenaked Ladies, Celine Dion, Paulina Rubio, Sting, Norah Jones, and Michael Buble, respectively. At least, those where the versions I listened to as I typed. Also listening to more Paulina Rubio to get in touch with what little Spanish there is in me (none, if we go by genetics, but I took 3 years of it in highschool.) 'You Could Be My Casanova' is actually awful, even when sung well, so I suggest the Spanish alternative, 'Baila Casanova,' because it sounds hella better. Also listening to 'Todo Mi Amor' and "Si Tu Te Vas' (which the English translation 'Don't Say Goodbye' is okay, but still not as great as the Spanish.)_  
_**


	7. Murphy: Laws and Beds

A/N: OMG finally! There is much much more to come but at last we get to have more Isa/Darce one on one time! Huzzah UST! None of our Lovebird Quartet seems to be getting much sleep tonight, for various reasons.+wink+wink+nudge+nudge+ Enjoy.

* * *

"This really cramps upon my masculinity, Darce."

"What does?"

"This paint job. I mean, _pink_?"

Darce shrugged, sipping his cup of coffee, then grimacing at the cup.

"You make this pot yourself?"

"Yeah, why?"

Wordlessly, Darce walked over to the sink and dumped the mug down the drain, swallowing hard and rinsing out his mouth with tap water.

"You should consider investing in a good butler, even for an apartment."

"Why bother for such a small place?"

Darce rolled his eyes.

"It's a penthouse. I've seen suburban homes smaller than this."

"I'm doing just fine on my own," said Chas, sipping his own coffee nonchalantly and turning the page of the newspaper spread out on the dining room table before him. "Oh look, my stock rose. Again," he noted with an understated grin, on purpose to annoy Darce, something which Chas excelled at.

"So what are you going to do about the walls?" said Darce, referring to the dusty ashes-of-roses colour that covered all the walls in the apartment save for the two bathrooms, which were tiled in—thankfully tasteful—blue and green.

"I'm thinking I'm going to get the painters in here sometime in the next week or so. Just do an off-white, modern cream or eggshell or vanilla or whatever fucked up names of plain white paint they have now."

"White?" Darce frowned. "It'd take more than a few coats."

"Yeah."

"How long should it all take?"

"A few days, to move around the furnishings and do all the coats and let them dry…"

"Have you found a hotel to stay in?"

There was a slight pause before Chas answered, and Darce knew something was coming. Something bad.

"Jade offered to let me stay at her place when I told her I was planning on having this place painted."

"What?" Darce exploded. "You've known her less than a month and you're going to _live_ with her?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Darce, don't be such a prude. The move isn't permanent, I just need somewhere to stay for a few days, and Jade kindly offered, to you as well, I might mention, a place to sleep. And as for my sex life, which I assume you were alluding to, quite frankly it's none of your damn business."

"I'm calling the Four Seasons."

"Good luck," called Chas as Darce stalked over to the phone.

* * *

"You invited Chas to stay here?"

"Yes…I don't see why you're so angry Isa, I thought you liked Chas…" Jade looked hurt, and Isa hastily covered her mistake.

"No, Jade, Chas is a sweetheart…it's that insufferable friend of his. I assume he was included in the invitation?"

"Well, ye-es," said Jade hesitantly. "But he may not take the offer, Isa. Chas said Darce may be more inclined to stay in a hotel."

"Dio, I hope so," muttered Isa wrathfully. Seeing the look on Jade's face, she softened a little. "Fine. When and if Chas comes, he can even have my room and I'll bunk in with you, since my room is bigger. How's that for playing nice?"

* * *

"Bloody hell and fuck."

"What happened?"

"I should have made a reservation about 6 months ago. There's nothing open until next month."

"I'm sorry to say I've already hired the painters. All I need to do is pick a colour."

Darce was stonily silent as he turned on his heel and left the bright, spacious kitchen, the door to the guest bedroom slamming shut a moment later.

"Let me know if you need help packing," called Chas, cheerily ignoring the muttered epithets emanating from behind Darce's door as Chas helped himself to another cup of coffee.

* * *

Isa sat at her desk, going over a pile of papers at her window which overlooked the street above Salida del Sol. Normally, she ignored the bustle of people outside on the busy LA streets unless she was bored or something out of place caught her eye. This time, that something was Darce Williams getting out of a taxi on the other side of the street while Chas paid the driver. Designer luggage in hand, he surveyed the area with an air of general disdain for the sidewalks marked with dirt-blackened crusts of gum and the busker on the corner, now cranking out an interesting bluegrass rendition of 'Bennie and the Jets' on his candy-apple red accordion. Isa's mouth barely had time to form itself into a snarl before her voice ripped through the apartment.

"Jaaaaaaaade! You got some 'splainin' to do!" she roared in her best Ricky Ricardo impression, only this time, she was super-pissed as well as sarcastic.

Jade winced as Isa's voice wafted through the open bedroom door, but didn't turn around from where she stood at the sink washing dishes by hand, since the dishwasher had decided to flood half the kitchen two days previous and the repairman had yet to stop by.

"Isa," she said, her soft voice sterner than usual. "I pay half the rent here, and I've a right to have guests over. Darce was included in the invitation I made, so I'll play hostess and if you can just manage to be civil to him for the next few days, I would appreciate it. Is it too much to ask you to put up with his company for a few days while Chas gets his apartment painted? From what I've seen, his behaviour may be considered…less than engaging, but it's not like he's a raving psychopath. So please, Isa, can you just hold your tongue for a few days and try not to provoke him?"

"You're right, and I'm sorry and I will try, to please you, rather than spare him any pain," grumbled Isa, turning back to her desk.

"Thank you," Jade dried her hands after placing the last dish in the drying rack on the counter beside the sink in the cozily crammed kitchenette. Smoothing her hair and straightening her sweater, Jade ran lightly down the stairs to usher in Chas and his friend while Isa counted down the seconds to Armageddon.

* * *

"The guest bedroom is just through here," said Jade, showing Chas and the reluctantly-trailing Darce through the apartment.

"Great," said Chas happily, dropping his duffle bag on the floor, smiling radiantly at an equally-electrified Jade. "Thanks again for this, Jade. Darce and I are really grateful…"

"Mmm…" rumbled Darce, noncommittally. Thankfully, Jade and Chas were too wrapped up in each other's presence to notice.

"So, I'll, um, let you get unpacked…I was just about to start making an early dinner before the bar opens," said Jade, retreating shyly to the door.

"Gimme a second, I'll come and help you out," called Chas, hastily unzipping his bag as Darce hefted his luggage onto the bed, whose springs gave an unpromising shriek.

"Nice," he hissed. "Where will you be sleeping?"

"Looks like we'll be bunking together, buddy."

"Don't call me buddy and tell me we'll be sleeping together in the same breath."

"In case you hadn't noticed, Darce, space is at a bit of a premium, but I don't mind, and why should you?"

"You don't mind because there is a distinct possibility that you'll be sharing a bed with a gorgeous woman instead of me in the near future."

"Jealous?"

"Of course. It's not like I look forward to learning all your freaky sleep habits."

"Well, Isa's probably around somewhere, if you—"

"Chas. Shut. Up. We've been over this. No way in hell would I ever even be tempted to hold a minute's conversation with that shrewish little—"

"Hello boys," said Isa pleasantly from the open doorway, causing Darce to wince and keep his back turned towards the door.

"Hey Isa," said Chas nicely, throwing her a toothpaste advertisement- quality grin. "We were just discussing Darce's mother. A lovely woman. Maybe you'll have the pleasure of meeting her one day."

"Perhaps," assented Isa with a slight bow of her head as an arch smile played about the corners of her mouth. "If I am very, _very_ lucky, I may just cross paths with her in the future. Although our social circles are hardly the same…"

"I'm sure you'll find Mrs. Williams is very adaptable to every situation she finds herself in, as no doubt, you are."

"I wonder…" mused Isa.

"No really, you seem the type to be a social chameleon."

"Well thank you for the implied compliment that I am sure is in there somewhere."

"You're welcome."

"Hi there, Darce," said Isa, arching a brow at his still-turned back while Chas made frantic cutting-off motions with his hands, mouthing the word 'no' and making a grumpy face. Isa began to laugh just as Chas wiped his face blank of all expression and Darce turned around. Isa clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the last of her chuckles, which still filtered through her fingers like wisps of sun-warm silk. Darce's face was solemn as he nodded to Isa.

"Hello," he said, turning back to his unpacking.

"Well," said Isa, wiggling her eyebrows at a sympathetic Chas. "I think I'll go check on Jade and dinner."

"I'll come with you," said Chas.

* * *

Late that night, even early the next morning, Darce tried to sleep even as the sounds of music and voices floated up the back stairs from the bar, which was near to closing. There was a spring poking into his back somewhere, which had kept him up even though he had gone to bed at the respectable hour of 12. It was obviously a room that belonged to one of the girls, judging by the various feminine touches about the room. Candles, half-melted. Dried flowers in a wicker vase. Glancing at the bold colours and patterns, he hazarded a guess that this was Isa's room. No wonder he couldn't sleep, with that noxious smell that seemed a combination of spices and flowers. A sweet, light, airy odour, that didn't suffocate you, but had a tang to it that almost made you want to sneeze. Or salivate. _No wonder I can't sleep_, thought Darce.

Gradually, the noise faded as the last straggling customers left and Isa, Jade, and an eager-to-help Chas quickly closed up and made their way up the stairs, talking and laughing in low tones. Darce heard them gather in the living room just outside his closed door, but their voices were too muffled for him to catch exactly what they said.

"I guess Darce is already asleep…" said Chas conversationally, as he and Jade shyly avoided each other's gaze but somehow kept making long, meaningful eye contact.

"Chas, why don't we use the bathroom first and get out of your way?" said Isa suddenly, grabbing Jade's elbow and steering her towards the bathroom.

Isa shut the door and flipped down the lid of the toilet, sitting on it as a dumbfounded Jade cocked her head in silent question.

"You can have the bedroom," said Isa bluntly.

"But…I…" Isa cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"I'll sleep on the Murphy bed in the living room."

"Isa, I just don't…how do I know if he's the one? I mean, it's been such a short time, and he's obviously worldlier than I am and we're just so different…"

"Jade." Isa gently grabbed her friend by the shoulders. "Do you love him?"

"…Yes."

"Does he love you?"

"I…I flatter myself, but I think he does."

"Flatter, schmatter. Jade, darling. Love is all you need to make it right between you."

There was a wordless, breathless pause as Jade gazed at Isa, with an ineffable look of awe, uncertainty, fear, but mostly hope and love on her face. A small smile tilted the corner of her lips as she dashed past Isa and out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Isa stayed where she was and counted to one thousand. Cautiously, she opened the door and peered out into the living room.

Silent and empty.

With a silly grin on her face at her own part played in this matchmaking of sorts, Isa hummed to herself as she went to move the armoire that sat in front of the folded up Murphy bed. She leaned her shoulder into it and grunted a little.

"Why the hell did I put this here in the first place?" she muttered to herself.

"Isn't it a little late…erm…_early_ for feng shui?" Isa whirled around to see Darce standing on the landing in front of the open door leading to what was normally her bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Isa inexplicably found this sight a tad unsettling and turned back to her task without saying anything for a moment. She was tongue-tied anyway.

_Lighten up, Isa. It's a man in sweatpants. You've seen much more before, _she chastised herself. _Yeah but none of them had hot abs like that or shoulders you just wanted to dig your fingernails into or an ass that just begged to be grabbed. _Isa grimaced as the small voice in the back of her mind chose the most inopportune moments to pipe up.

"Perhaps if I had a green, broad-leafed plant in my Helpful Hands section you might consider taking the higher path and give me a hand here rather than making snotty comments," quipped Isa.

"Not unless you tell me what the hell you're doing."

Isa sighed and blew a strand of loose hair out of her eyes. Darce obviously wasn't going to roll over and play dead if she ranted at him. A small sprout of respect began to sprout, but it was firmly and hastily quashed.

"Fine. I'm moving the armoire so I can bring down the Murphy bed."

"To sleep on?"

"No, to use as an extra coffee table…" Isa rolled her eyes. "Yes, _to sleep on. _Unless you would prefer I bunk with you."

An awkward silence descended.

Isa rubbed a hand over her brow, where a headache was already beginning to form.

"The correct response to that is 'no,'" she supplied.

"Right…I mean no. I mean…here, I'll help."

Isa suppressed a wolf whistle as Darce easily slid the heavy armoire to one side. Together, the reached up and pulled down the Murphy bed.

"Do you mind if I run into my room for a moment and grab some pajamas?" asked Isa. "I forgot to earlier."

"Sure. I mean, go ahead. Do you want to sleep in your room and I can take the Murphy bed? I'm the guest, after all…"

Isa thought about it. Her own bed…where Darce had been supposedly sleeping for the past few hours…the sheets still warm and smelling like him. No. It was a bad idea to sleep in her own bed.

"Thank you, that's sweet. But I'll be fine out here."

"I assume Chas and Jade are…"

"Yes…"

"Oh."

"I'll just…" Isa gestured meaninglessly. "Pajamas."

"Sure." Darce sat on the edge of the Murphy bed as Isa went into her bedroom to get changed. A few minutes later, she emerged wearing a set of red and white Hello Kitty! pajamas. Darce hid his grin. It was cute. It was different. It was Isa, all over.

All over Isa…

Darce quickly stood up to try and derail his train of thought before it pulled into Masturbation Station. He whacked his toe against the leg of the coffee table and swore, sitting heavily back on the Murphy Bed as his foot throbbed.

—_shpwing—_

No one saw it coming.

In the flash of an eye, the Murphy bed swung upwards towards the wall, the sheer force carrying Darce with it. In the blink of and eye and with a groaning of springs, he found himself trapped between mattress and wall. He heard Isa's footsteps approaching and her voice, a little blurred around the edges.

"Damn. I _knew_ there was a reason we didn't use this bed."

"Just get me out of here!"

"It's going to be harder with only one person…"

"I'll push from in here, you pull from out there."

"Okay."

Eventually, they got the bed down far enough for Darce to worm his way out. He helped Isa pull it all the way down, and they both took a cautionary step backwards from it.

"Are you all right?" asked Isa.

"Yeah. I was lucky I didn't hit my head too hard…plus I was kind of upside down, but I couldn't move much anyway."

"Hmm…" After a moment's consideration, Isa grabbed her pillow and hopped up onto the bed.

"You're not going to sleep there, are you?"

"Why not?"

"It's a death trap!"

"Not only will I sleep here…watch." Isa stood up and began to bounce lightly on the balls of her feet, the bedsprings creaking rhythmically.

"Isa! Get down from there!"

"What are you, afraid, Mr. Big Business New York City?" Isa smirked at him then lobbed the pillow at his head. Darce gave a huffy sigh. He wasn't going to let her get hurt over such a stupid thing…even if he had to haul her off the mattress himself. After a moment, he clambered onto the swaying bed as Isa sped up the jumping a notch. Isa began to recite a rhyme to herself.

"Two little monkeys jumping on the bed…one fell off and bumped his hea-AUGH!" She let out a small shriek as Darce grabbed her by the arms just as the Murphy bed snapped closed for the second time.

"You idiot!" she hissed in the close-pressing dark. "If you hadn't got up there, we would have been fine."

"Yeah right, Miss Mexican Jumping Bean 2005." Darce was trying to think of a way out rather than the close proximity of Isa. The Murphy bed had her body pressed tightly to his, leaving little room to maneuver. Isa's breathing quickened, he could hear it in the pitch dark, and all he could smell was the same scent that had kept him awake in her bedroom, and all he could feel was every single blasted curve of her body.

"I…I suppose now's not a good time to tell you…" Isa gulped.

"Tell me what?" said Darce irritably.

"I'm claustrophobic…I just…wow…" Isa swallowed again and he felt her press her hands to her face. "I just can't…it's too dark, and I can hardly move. We're trapped in here…" Isa's voice broke a little and she began to cry quietly. Darce couldn't exactly put his arms around her to comfort her, but they were close enough as it was and he managed to lay a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, hey now," he said in a low, soft voice. "We're gonna be okay."

"I…I know…" she blurted. "And I'm sorry for being so, so irrational. But, I mean, every person has some defect, some secret fear…" Isa glanced at Darce in the darkness, and he felt her watery gaze, and two tears fell onto the bare skin above his collarbone. "I accidentally locked myself in the garden shed when I was three. No one knew where I was…they didn't find me for five hours. I had been playing hide-and-seek by myself because my sisters were all too little to play."

"How did that work?" asked Darce, half-amused in spite of it. Isa laughed, the sound gurgling a little as her sobs gradually dried up.

"Not too well." She sniffed. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

"I already told you, it's okay," said Darce. "Here, if we turn our backs to the bed and push our feet against the wall we should be able to get out, okay?"

"I can draw my legs up that far. It's too narrow."

"Use your arms first to open the gap, then—that's it…on three…one, two, three!"

They pushed off simultaneously and the Murphy bed creaked slowly forward inch by inch, then fell with a resounding shaking of springs. Isa and Darce were thrown backwards onto it, and both lay side by side for a moment, catching their breath, as the landing had knocked some of the wind out of them.

After a moment, Isa turned to Darce and laid a hand on his arm.

"Thanks," she said simply. "I believe I will take you up on your offer of a bed-trade. Sleep tight." With that, Isa dashed off to her room and shut the door. Darce got up slowly and glared at the Murphy bed. Grabbing a pillow and blanket from the bed, he went over to the couch, not willing to try his luck again with the fold-out. As he tried to settle in for what was left of the night, he focused on deep breathing relaxation and meditation methods he had been learning for the past few months. None of it managed to drive the memory of Isa's body pressed against his, or her warm tears splashing onto his skin. Absently, his hand rubbed at the spot on his chest as he finally fell into a fitful sleep full of restless, disturbing dreams involving himself, Isa, and a Murphy bed that stayed down no matter how much it was jostled.

Isa curled up in her own bed, but found sleep difficult. Somehow it didn't seem to be just her bed anymore. The sheets were cool by the time she got to them, but there was Darce's overnight bag at the chair by her dresser, and the faint scent of his cologne clung to the sheets and pillow slips. Tossing and turning, she finally lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, vibrating with suppressed energy from an unknown source.

"It must have been that Coke I drank earlier tonight," she muttered, wishing it were true.


	8. All the Pretty Horses

**Lordie, I know this has been a long time in coming. Props goes out to the new P&P movie, which I saw for the third time this afternoon, and the fact that it is now 3 am and I will be getting approximately 6 hours of sleep before I have to get all my crap done tomorrow, so hush up if this isn't edited all well and good, I just went with the flow. We have some angst, new characters (with backstory!) and people you will no doubt recognize sooner or later. Oh! And adorable children! Mmmmmatthew MmmmmcFadyen. (Please excuse random fangirling here. Go see that movie. It was only one of two reviews in the newspaper that got four stars our of four. The other was 'Water,' which I also want to see as am a completeNUT for anything East Indian.) Note that the chapter title has nothing to do with that movie with Penelope Cruise and that kid that always hangs out with Ben Affleck. shudders**

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Isa quickened her pace along the sidewalk, not wanting to be caught in the downpour. Vehicles whirred and beeped along the larger streets and avenues, the sounds slightly muffled by the buildings in between roads. For now this particular side street was vacant of cars, so Isa hastily crossed the road, not bothering to go to the crosswalk, throwing only a perfunctory glance either way for the non-existent traffic.

Isa hiked the strap of her tote bag higher on her shoulder and shuffled quickly under an overhang above the doorway to the lobby of a rather shabby-looking apartment complex. She pressed a finger to a button, and a moment later, a voice blurred around the edges with static trickled through the dented speaker.

"Hello?"

"It's me!"

"Oh, come on up, chica!" A buzzer sounded, and Isa leaned on the door handle, which swung open with a small, creaky protest. Isa ducked inside just as the rain began to fall lightly outside.

A single, uncovered bulb dimly lit the hallway, which smelled strongly of bleach and faintly of urine. Stains of varying shape, colour and size peppered the carpet and faded wallpaper, once a bright floral pattern that had long since faded to a nondescript palette of beige, orange and gray. Loud rap music drifted out from a crack at the bottom of the door opposite the one Isa faced, and she could feel the floorboards vibrating rhythmically beneath her feet. She knocked once, twice, and waited.

The door opened to reveal a petite Hispanic woman, a girl, really, who wore a fatigued expression, but a brilliant smile. The rap music was quickly drowned out by the screaming toddler she carried on her hip. Blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes, she leaned forward to press her cheek to Isa's.

"How are you, Rosa?" asked Isa, her tone vaguely concerned.

"I'll be better once I can get Eva down for a nap and some coffee down me and you down for a chat," she said with a breathless laugh. "I just picked her up from daycare and she's tired and cranky and hungry because that horrible old woman who runs the daycare wouldn't give her a snack because Eva spilled paint down her front. Well, if the _idiota_ woman didn't give them finger-paints and then leave the room so she could have a cigarette I wouldn't have to try and clean this dress later. Look at that, it's probably ruined." Eva continued to cry, her screams turning into quiet whimpers and hiccupping sobs as she stuck her fingers, smeared with blue, into her mouth and laid her tear-stained little face down on Rosa's shoulder. Rosa quickly batted her daughter's hand from her mouth in case she accidentally ingested some of the paint, a good deal of which was smeared down the front of her pink corduroy jumper-dress. Eva, deprived of the sole comfort she could take in sucking her thumb, began to shriek again.

"Oy!" The door across the hall opened and a young man with shaggy hair and half a dozen visible tattoos stepped into the hallway, the rap music doubling in volume. Eva, sensing an opponent, kicked it up to a few decibels beyond deafening. "Can't you get your brat to shut up? I'm trying to get some work done in 'ere!" shouted the man, in a distinctly out-of-place British accent.

"Oh, and you think it's my fault I can't get her to settle down and sleep, when your _music,_ such as you call it, drives everyone in this building absolutely _loco_?"

"I'll 'ave you know that I respect the quiet 'ours when they're in place, so don't you tell me to do, when I—"

"Oh I'll damn well tell you what to do! You can take your fucking stereo and _metete sa vaina en el culo_—"

"Why don't I take Eva and get her cleaned up a little?" Isa offered, already gathering the little girl into her arms.

"Oh, _muchas gracias,_ sweetheart, Eva you be good for Tia Isa while Mama takes care of this…"

"I don' see why you ought to get special treatment because you've got a kid. You don' hear anyone complaining when she wakes everyone up at three in th' mornin' cos she's 'ad a nightmare…"

"She's a little girl, you ignorant little _pajiso_!"

"That's no reason for you to get all bitchy because I'm listening to music in my personal space outside of quiet hours while your kid shakes the roaches out of the ceiling with her fuckin' screaming!"

"I'm getting all bitchy? Excuse me, but the reason there are roaches in this building is because they obviously recognize that you are their king and they have come to pay their respects!"

"You'd better shut the fuck up!"

"Why? So you can complain to the super? He'll back me up." The man smirked cruelly.

"I'll bet he'll back you up since you go down on your back FOR him."

"_Chucha de tu madre_! You fucking _cuecón_, you have a lot of fucking nerve to talk to me like that, you—"

"The truth hurts, love," muttered the man, retreating back into his apartment and slamming the door. A moment later the music blared louder than before.

Rosa sagged against the open doorframe for a moment, then turned and came inside, shutting the door quietly. Isa stood in the tiny kitchenette, wiping off Eva's hands with a damp cloth, trying to pretend she hadn't been listening. One hand free at last, Eva pushed her thumb into her mouth and hiccoughed slightly, blinking, owl-eyed, at first Isa, then her mother.

"Will Eva be able to sleep with that music on?" asked Isa. Rosa shook her head.

"It won't be on much longer. Once Mrs. Jameson downstairs hears it, she'll complain, even though she's half-deaf. When Mrs. Jameson complains, you know it's too loud. She adores Eva though…" said Rosa with a half-triumphant smile.

"Who wouldn't?" said Isa with a grin. The little girl yawned widely and rubbed her eyes. "What is it, Princess Eva? What can your Lady-in-Waiting Tia Isa do for you?" Isa asked the little girl, who's lips curved into a smile much like her mother's, albeit formed around her thumb.

"Princess Eva is sleepy. I would like to have my sleep time, please…" The long-lashed eyelids were already drooping heavily as she spoke, and Isa silently carried her to the room at the end of the short hallway, which was Rosa and Eva's shared bedroom. Isa quickly changed Eva into a clean set of pajamas—a Big Bird print on thin fabric that had faded with much washing and tucked her into the middle of the queen-sized bed. Nowhere in the apartment was there room for Eva to have a big girl bed of her own.

"Sing Princess Eva a song, Tia Isa…" ordered Eva, already half-asleep.

"Hush-a-bye don't you cry, go to sleep-y, Princess Eva. When you wake you shall have all the pretty little horses. Blacks and bays, dapple grays, coach and six white horses. Hush-a-bye don't you cry, go to sleep-y, Princess Eva…" sang Isa softly.

On the trembling edge of sleep Eva whispered gently as the song ended: "I don't like that song anymore, Tia Isa…"

"I thought it was your favourite, sweetie."

"But…last time you sang the song…I dreamed there were horses. And when I woke up, they were gone. Where have the horses gone?" Isa paused for a moment in the half-dark of the room, where the curtains at the window were drawn, and the gentle patter of rain on the streets below was the only sound.

"They are just waiting for you, Eva. They have gone to a wonderful place, and someday you'll find them. But right now, they know that you need to be here."

"But I want to find the horses, Tia…"

"I know, I know. But if you went to find them now, think how lonely your mama would be without you!" Eva's lip trembled slightly in the grey light, and Isa bent over and kissed her on the forehead. "Will you wait, just a little while, until you are more grown-up, and then you can leave Mama to go find those horses…can you do that for me, Princess Eva? Wait just a while? I promise you, someday, I'll even help you find the horses if I can."

"…Okay." The word was drawn out into a sigh as Eva finally slipped into a deep slumber. Isa retreated from the room and quietly shut the door. Rosa was pouring two cups of coffee in the kitchen and handed one to Isa as they sat at the kitchen table.

Rosa stared out at the gray world for a moment, absently stirring sugar into her coffee.

"Rosa, are you certain everything is alright?" Isa saw that her friend had dark circles under her eyes, and seemed thinner as of late.

"Oh, I'm fine. Eva's fine. We're fine…" Rosa smiled and took a sip of her coffee, moaning with pleasure after a moment. "That was all I needed…"

Isa smiled, but didn't drop the subject.

"If you ever need anything—"

"Everyone needs something," muttered Rosa. She raised her eyes to Isa's. "Don't worry about me, or Eva. I've just been working a few late nights recently at the café. It will pass."

"Rosa…" Isa hesitated, not wanting to step further on her best friend's pride than she already had. "Rosa, you know you can trust me. With anything. Even if I can't—even if you won't let me help you in any other way, I can listen." Isa reached across the table and took Rosa's hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. Rose gave a hollow laugh and pulled her hand away, rubbing at the invisible tension in her neck, sipping her coffee again. She shook her head, then glanced at the tabletop, where Isa saw a single teardrop fall a moment later.

"Rosa!" Isa was out of her chair and kneeling beside her friend. "Please, just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help…"

"I'm not a charity-case, God damn it, Isa!"

"I never said you were. I just—Rosa I can't just sit here and not do anything while you're like this. Just tell me."

"I can't—I can't—" Rosa took a few steadying breaths, then continued with a shudder. "I'm months behind in my rent, Isa. The super likes me, although not in the way that asshole Michael is suggesting. He's been kind enough to not…but I can't go on like this. I've been taking all the extra hours I can get at the café, but with daycare…I know it's an awful place for Eva, but it's the cheapest place I could find. Even so, that's not even a drop in the bucket, and there's just so many costs…my paycheck always seems so small…and I've still got eight places to put every dollar. I've been trying Isa, I've really been trying…"

"I know you—I know you don't like the idea…but what about welfare? They have programs to help single mothers, Rosa!"

"Not me, Isa. Not me. I'm not even a legal resident of the United States. I just—if I went for welfare they'd find out and take Eva away and I'd be deported. I have no one in Mexico, Isa. My family has—I haven't spoken to them in years. They don't even know about Eva."

"What about…Eva's father?"

Rosa snorted.

"Rosa, I don't think you should—I mean, it's not the same as welfare. If you had him paying child support…"

"Isa…I don't even know where he is, and I really don't care."

"But if you had the payments, you may not have to work the extra hours and you'd be able to pay your rent on time and—"

"No, Isa."

"We could track him down and find him. If he knows he has a daughter…"

"I—my old boyfriend…he knows about Eva. She's why he left."

"Left? Because of Eva?"

"He found out I was pregnant and he left."

"But he still has a responsibility to his daughter!"

"Isa, when I said I don't know where Eva's father it, I was only telling a half-truth. I really don't even know…who he is."

"Who? But you boyfriend…"

"My boyfriend's name was Raul. I met him in Mexico when I was nineteen and working in a resort restaurant for the summer. He persuaded me to come up here with him. He was my first real boyfriend, Isa. There was love. He told me he was going to get a job up here and that we could do really well together. The first few months it was great…but then he lost his job. He'd been working in a junkyard, I was a waitress. It was—is—all I know, really. With my high school diploma. After that, things got worse. Raul couldn't keep any job more than a few weeks, and our combined paychecks weren't getting us very far.

"One night I was down working the late shift, and Raul came down to see me after I got off work. There was some friend of his from the junkyard and some buddies sitting in the corner having a few drinks. Raul went over and talked to them for a while, then he told me to go into the washroom and wait there. A minute later one of his friends, I think his name was Jack…he—" Rosa stopped and sipped her coffee for a minute, her dark eyes clouded with too many memories fighting to be forgotten.

"Would you like to move to the couch?" Rosa nodded silently. The two women settled on the couch and Rosa remained silent for a minute longer, cradling the mug of coffee in her small hands. She cleared her throat, ran a hand through her hair and continued.

"His friend told me to shut up and just do as I was told, and there would be money in it for me and Raul. I just—did. I don't think I even realized what I was doing, not really. Not then. It was only later that night, when I was at home. I threw up, I felt so sick about what I had done. But then there was the money. More than Raul or I had seen in months. Cash. No dealing with banks and interest and loans or any of it. It seemed so simple. Such a small thing…" Rosa sipped her coffee again. "Over time, word got around that I was good, evidently. Meaning, I shut my mouth and did whatever they wanted…let them do whatever they wanted…oh Isa," Rosa's voice broke and the mug slipped from her hands, falling unnoticed on the rug, the dark stain spreading beneath the couch. Isa set her cup down on the low table before them and took Rosa in her arms, speechless at what Rosa was telling her.

Isa had only known Rosa for two years, but they had been good friends for at least half of that time. Isa had never thought about Rosa's past, or Eva's father, aside from in fleeting moments of "I-wonder…" which were quickly crushed by the side of her brain that insisted it was none of her business. _Yet the pain of our loved ones is our business_, thought Isa. _We can't seem to help it._

Gradually Rosa's sobs taped off, and she pulled back from Isa's embrace, wiping her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her sweater. "I tried to be careful," she blurted, desperate to finish her story, have it out in the open and be done with it. "I never got…sick, or anything. Raul was careful too. He chose who I…he arranged the business side of things, and I just…I provided the service. He never would have allowed anyone he thought might be dangerous or a drug addict or anything…But I don't know what happened. I don't even known when. I was on the Pill, I made them all use condoms, good ones. Even Raul. And…then I was late. I told Raul, and he was furious. He said I'd been running my own business on the side and keeping the money for myself. He insisted it couldn't possibly be his. He left…and I made the decision, that night. I was not going to support my child that way. I wasn't going to raise my daughter the reality that her mother was a whore. I've tried so hard to get away from it, Isa…I really have…but the money. It always comes down to the money. I need it, Isa." Rosa stared vacantly at the stain on the carpet. "You know, I was going to pick up Eva from daycare today, and I passed so many men on the street, and I thought: _I could do it._ Just once, today, and perhaps tomorrow, and I could try to catch up on my rent. I know tricks, Isa, and I could use them and make more in twenty minutes than I do in a day. Another week or so and I could buy groceries for the month. Use my paycheck from the café too, and maybe even put some in savings. There never seemed to be anything to save before, with Raul managing things. We went though it almost as quickly as we made it…but this time I'd be careful, Isa. I would."

"No."

"Isa, I can't face this…there's no other way. You know damn well I won't accept anything from you or anyone else. Not unless I work for it. Somehow."

"Rosa, I know you won't take money from me, but I want to help you. I will not let you do that to yourself again. Not ever." Isa rested her cheek on her friend's hair and closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that prickled her eyelids. "I could take Eva and look after her during the day, saving you the cost of daycare."

"But, Isa, I—"

"Look, you refuse my money, so I can refuse yours. Let me spend some time with Eva during the daytime. Then you can re-organize your finances and relieve some of the pressure for your rent."

"I…okay, Isa. Okay, you win. You can have Eva during the day. Would you like to be here or at your place? I could drop Eva off—"

"That would be fine. I'm sure Jade would love to see Eva too…"

Hours later, the two friends parted. Isa gave Rosa a quick hug at the door.

"Don't worry. We'll fix this. The daycare for Eva is only the beginning of solutions we can find for this. Take care, Rosa." Isa went down the hall to the stairwell to go down to the lobby, and Rosa watched her friend fondly as she left, then her smile faltered and her bright gaze dimmed.

"It's only half-fixed…and for how long?" she sighed, going back into her apartment and shutting the door.

* * *

Isa finally stepped off the bus a block away from Salida del Sol. Cursing in the rain, she ran frantically towards the back entrance to the bar and the stairs to the apartment and nearly ran headlong into Darce, who was just leaving. Isa skidded to a halt and narrowly avoided smacking her nose on his shoulder. Darce stood still for a moment, looking at her, stuck by the shimmering combined effect of the streetlamps and raindrops shining on her black hair, which was beginning to curl wildly in the damp. 

"Hello," Isa said icily.

"Uh, hello," said Darce, finally remembering to put up his umbrella. In an instinctive motion, he moved it so that both of them were covered by the vinyl shield. Isa flicked her eyes upwards then took a deliberate step backwards into the downpour, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm…just going out."

"How fascinating. I'm just returning from visiting a friend across town," said Isa, her words dry in contrast to her hair and clothing, which were beginning to plaster against her figure in all sorts of interesting ways.

"Uh, did you go—did you walk all the way there and back?"

"I took the bus, actually."

"Ah."

"Although I do like walking, even if the weather is less than fine. I love the rain."

"So do I."

"Although it is a great deal pleasanter when it's not raining. Actually, I think I hate the rain."

"Oh. Well, uh—"

"Anyhow…" Isa fumbled in her bag for her keys, but at that moment, the door was flung open and a tall, thin woman clad in Dolce & Gabbana swept out onto the sidewalk.

"Ohh Darce! Thank goodness you have your umbrella! I thought LA would be gorgeous…turns out I was wrong." The woman slid a catty glance at Isa and nodded coolly, stepping under Darce's umbrella and standing much closer to Darce than the umbrella's diameter required. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Charity Lee."

"Oh, you must be Chas' sister!"

"Indeed. And you are?"

"Isa Benedicte…"

"Oh so YOU'RE the owner of this quaint little establishment? Well I must say I adore the kitschy design you've got. It's very…homey."

Isa almost thought she saw a flicker of embarrassment cross Darce's features, but decided it must be a trick of the light.

"Well thank you, Miss Lee."

"Oh, please, call me Chatty. Miss Lee is my maiden aunt and Charity is what my parents used to call me when I'd been naughty Isn't that right, Darce? You know I can't seem to help it…being _naughty_."

"Really?" said Darce flatly, subtly looking at his watch.

"Well, we should be going, shouldn't we? Darce's driving me back to my hotel. I just arrived this afternoon to visit my brother."

"How kind of him to offer you a ride. Mr. Williams, I'd heard you were having difficulty finding a hotel to suit your tastes. Surely Chatty's hotel room might be more than accommodating enough for the remainder of your banishment from Chas' apartment?" asked Isa.

"Oh what a suggestion! Of course you're welcome to stay with me Darce, but I warn you, there's just the one double bed, and any attempts to spoon will be rejected," giggled Chatty in a tone that blatantly stated the opposite.

"Nice meeting you, Chatty. Enjoy the ride." Isa turned her back on the couple and shoved her key into the lock, letting herself inside at last. She heard Chatty's voice drifting farther down the sidewalk as they walked towards Darce's rented Jaguar that was parked conspicuously among the jalopies and pick ups that lined Isa's street.

"Did you see her hair? And her clothing? She looked like a drowned cat, poor thing!"

Darce's reply was low and indistinct, and Isa snorted and turned away to head up the stairs. Jade had put some soup on to simmer, and the smell wafted through the apartment, making Isa's mouth water. She heard Chas' voice and Jade's laughing response; and, for the first time that day, a genuine smile spread across Isa's face. _Hope,_ she thought, _and a home filled with friends. That's all one really needs…_

**Sorry for that last shot of sappy. Didn't know quite how to end it, but I didn't want to get stuck on a depressing note with Rosa & Eva and Chatty (ohgoshwhattabitch) and it's 3 am, I repeat. So put up and shut up and please review:) It will get better later. At least...comparatively better. I mean, it all depends on your POV and personal opinions on certain matters, and...I really need to go to sleep.**


	9. Tale As Old As Time

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pride & Prejudice or Disney's Beauty & the Beast or any of the songs thereof. Actually I do own it. And I watched it this afternoon. Which explains a LOT. But hey, that movie was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, so come ON, people. It WON a Golden Globe. And it lost the Oscar to The Silence of the Lambs because Anthony Hopkins is a freaky genius and I cannot watch that movie. Is it bad that I kind of love the Beast even if he is kind of technically four different kinds of animal and not one of those kinds is human, exactly?

* * *

**

Isa ushered Eva into her apartment later the next morning, as Rosa dropped her off on her way to work the evening shift.

"Thanks again, Isa. You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"It's no problem at all! Go on now, we'll be fine. Hey, Eva," said Isa, kneeling to the little girl's eye-level. "Guess what I rented for us?"

Eva's eyes widened.

"Belle?" she whispered.

"Yep. Here, you run over to the couch and I'll be over in a minute to set up the VCR."

Eva trotted across the apartment's open living room and clambered up on the couch, settling comfortably, nuzzling a pillow as she patiently waited for Isa.

Rosa watched her with a slow grin.

"Have fun, you two. Eva, honey, you be good for Tia Isa!"

"Okay!"

Isa quickly hugged Rosa.

"Have a good day, dear," she said sincerely, looking intensely at Rosa.

"I'll be fine. God, we sound like a TV show!" Rosa lowered her voice and narrowed her gaze playfully at Isa. "I want dinner hot and on the table when I get home from the office, little wife. And a foot-rub!"

Isa chuckled. "I'll do my best. I had planned a culinary masterpiece consisting of hot dogs as a main course with chocolate Jell-O pudding for dessert."

"Oh, don't tell Eva that. She'll want to stay for dinner," smirked Rosa, rolling her eyes.

"She could, if she wanted to. You could to, if Mr. Oscar Meyer is permitted into your social circle," said Isa with a grin. Rosa's smile shifted, becoming a little too tight, then vanished almost wearily.

"I, ah—no. We'll be fine. I'll come pick her up after I've finished my shift. Really, Isa, you don't have too—you remember what I said. I don't want charity. I can feed my daughter!"

"Rosa, I didn't mean it that way, you know that! I—" Isa stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. "Rosa," she began again. "You know that I'll do anything for you and Eva. All you have to do is ask. And if I offer you anything, it's because I want to share my life with my friends, and not because I've singled you out and I think you're needy. You are strong and capable. Everyone may need help from time to time, and there's no shame in that. Even so, that doesn't mean that every time I offer Eva a peanut butter sandwich it means I think you're starving her! _Dio_, Rosa. You just need to _chill,_ alright? Just—stop worrying so much about every little thing. You're my friend, and I want my friends to be happy. End of story."

Rosa was silent for a moment, and she looked almost ashamed of herself.

"Me and my pride," she said after a space, with a small half-chuckle. "I'm sorry Isa. I guess I have been jumping down your throat a bit lately about these things. Thank you for watching Eva." She glanced at her battered watch on her thin wrist. "Christ, I've got to get to work. I'll see you later!"

Isa shut the door behind Rosa and went over to the couch where Eva sat, swinging the battered Barbie doll she'd brought with her through the air with a firm grip on the long, grimy blonde hair, while chirping broken lines from "Be Our Guest." Isa slipped the video-cassette into the video player and punched Play with the remote, turning up the volume on the TV as the screen filled with the opening scene of an idyllic forest and the tinkly fairy-tale music began to play.

"Eva, do you want some lunch? You can eat in front of the TV if you're very careful."

"Yes!" Eva's eyes glowed brightly at the prospect of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—on white bread. Tia Isa always let her have white bread—to eat while she watched _Beauty & the Beast_. Princess Eva, indeed, could not have wanted more in that moment.

* * *

A couple of hours later, the movie had ended and Eva had gone down for her afternoon nap in Isa's room, her thumb fixed firmly in her peanut-butter-jelly-tasting mouth, the Barbie clutched in her other hand.

Isa shut the door to her room and took a pile of envelopes from the kitchen counter, hoping to get some work done while Eva slept. She'd placed an ad in the paper for a bartender with at least 5 years experience. She figured she'd kill two birds with one stone—someone who could take Lupe's place, but also man the bar when need be. Of course, she'd pay more for a competent bartender than she would for just serving drinks—but if the applicant was willing to pitch in with general work when needed, Isa figured she could incur the extra cost with little fuss and keep all her bases covered in the bar. Now, she grimly set to the task of looking over the stack of resumes she'd asked to be mailed in.

Two hours hence, Isa looked at her notepad with a grimace. What part of at least five years bartending experience wasn't understood by these people?

"_Spent eight years as a waitress at Hooters in San Fransisco." _

"_Manager of a Jamba Juice in West Hollywood for the past 18 months." _

"_Took a crash-course in bartending while in college." _

At least that one looked vaguely promising. Isa wrote down the name and dialed the daytime number.

"Hello, this is Geoffrey speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Nesco?"

"Yes?"

"This is Isa Benedicte, the owner of Salida del Sol. I'm calling regarding the bartending job being offered here."

"Oh, yes."

"Yes, it says on your resume that you…bartended in college?"

"Well, I took an outside course."

"I see. Could you tell me where you have tended bar in the past, and for how many years?"

"Well, see, bartending wasn't my main focus in school. I took the course for fun and a little extra cash. My friend Frank had a little place and I would sometimes help him out on weekends."

"What is it you do now, Mr. Nesco? Your resume was rather unclear in that respect."

"Oh, I'm an accountant."

"And you're trying to go back to bartending?" Isa was incredulous.

"Well, I've just moved out to this new accounting job out here, and I figured it would be a great way for me to meet people."

"Right, ah, I see. Thank you Mr. Nesco, I'll be in touch." Isa quickly hung up the phone and crossed his name off on her legal pad.

"God, what does he think this IS? A dating service?" Isa continued to work her way through the stack. It seemed everyone was looking for work in LA—everyone except the experiences bartenders.

Wearily, Isa took the last envelope and opened it, shaking out the folded resume with little hope left for that day's work.

"I should have just watched Oprah and eaten pretzels for where this has gotten me," she muttered, scanning the printed pages. "Hold on," she murmured.

"_Tended bar at Clancy's Irish Pub in New York City, New York, for three years. Then I spent five years working in both the Caramel Bar & Lounge as well as the Fontana Bar in the Bellagio Hotel, in Las Vegas, Nevada. Recent employment has been part-time at a Texaco gas station and garage in Los Angeles, California.. Looking for part-time employment in the evenings tending bar."_

'Ding ding, we have a winner,' thought Isa. Over 5 years experience, and in the Bellagio! Undoubtedly he knew his stuff. She scribbled his first name onto her pad, along with his number, and was about to dial as the door to the apartment suddenly swung open, and Darce walked in, alone.

Isa held the cordless phone to her chest for a moment.

"Jesus, Darce, you scared me! How did you--?"

"Oh, Jade gave me an extra key."

"Oh. Uh—take off your shoes, we got the carpets cleaned last week."

Darce cleared his throat and took off his shoes.

"I—I just came by to get my laptop and Palm Pilot. I left them in…in your room, and I thought I could get some work done this afternoon…" he trailed off, making his way to Isa's room, where his overnight bag still sat.

"Oh!" Isa started, as if from a foggy trance. "Don't go in there!"

Darce turned.

"What?"

"You'll wake Eva…"

"Who?"

"She's—"

"Tia Isaaaaa!"

"—awake, evidently." Isa closed her eyes, which were beginning to ache as she'd forgotten to put on her reading glasses and had been reading the resumes by holding them an inch from her face. "Out here, sweetie!"

Isa's bedroom door opened, and Eva came lurching out, rubbing her eyes. She stumbled over to where Isa sat and threw her arms around Isa's waist as best she could, pillowing her face in Isa's lap.

"I woke up and then I heard you talking to somebody!" Eva turned her head in Isa's lap and peeped at Darcy with one eye, then grinned shyly and turned her face back into Isa's lap.

"Oh come on honey, don't be shy."

"Is she—yours?" Darce had turned an odd shade of pale beneath his milk-chocolate skin tone. Isa threw him a look, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes. She's been living in the cupboard under the sink all this time," she said, rolling her eyes, then shaking her head. "I'm watching her for a friend. Eva, this is…Darce. Darce, Eva."

Eva peered out at him again, then stuck her thumb back into her mouth.

"Hi…" she said shyly, the words sweetly garbled around her thumb.

"Uh—hello," said Darcy stiffly, still gazing at Eva as if she was a talking iguana. "I'll just go get my laptop and PalmPilot and settle out of your way," he said hurriedly, going into Isa's room.

"Tia Isa, is he your Boyfriend?" asked Eva in a stage-whisper.

"No, sweetie," said Isa, unable to stop herself from giving a snorty little laugh at the idea.

"Why not?"

"Uh—look, Eva, Tia Isa's just got one more phone call to make, and then we can find something else to do together, okay?"

"I wanna watch Belle again!"

"Again?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay…it's still in the VCR. You go rewind it then hit play. You know which buttons they are?" Eva nodded and dashed over to the VCR.

Darce came out of the bedroom carrying his laptop and Palm Pilot. Looking about, he realized the only sensible place for him to set up would be the coffee table. He crossed the living room, then choked back a swearword as he stepped on Eva's discarded Barbie in his stocking-clad feet. Allowing a safe distance between him and the small person now giggling andpressing her tiny, sticky hands into the video-player, Darce settled on the couch and set his computer on the coffee table. He took his Palm Pilot and began punching different buttons on it with the pointer.

Suddenly the couch cushion beside him sagged abruptly, and he looked to his right to see Eva next to him, apparently having lost all previous shyness.

"Hi," she said again.

"Hi," said Darce, turning his eyes back to his Palm Pilot in vain.

"Who's your favourite Disney princess?"

"What?"

"Which one is your favourite? I like Belle…but Jasmine is good too. Aladdin…" Eva added, as though she sense Darce's confusion and hoped to clarify matters for him. Darce nodded slowly.

"Uh…my little sister used to like…uh…I think it was the…the Little Mermaid."

Eva nodded.

"Ariel is okay. But Belle is the best."

"Is she really?"

"Mmmhmm. Say it."

"Excuse me?"

"Say Belle is the best."

"Belle…is the best?" _Now for the love of God go away._

"Good," said Eva. She then climbed into his lap and laid her head back against his chest. "Now we're best friends forever," she said happily, sticking her thumb in her mouth again as _Beauty & the Beast_ began to play again. Darce resignedly sighed and put his Palm Pilot away.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Isa Benedicte, from Salida del Sol, I'm calling regarding the bartending job?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah Igave you my resume."

"Yes…Joaquin is it?" Isa said, glancing at her pad.

"Yeah, yeah that's me. Sorry if the quality isn't great, I'm on my cell."

"I see, are you at work right now?"

"The garage? Yeah. Sorry for all the background noise, but this is the only way anyone can reach me for sure during the day."

"Oh, no, I understand. Look, I've been reviewing your resume and it looks very promising. I was wondering if you would be available for an interview any time soon?"

"Oh, sure, yeah, that'd be great."

"How would tomorrow afternoon be?"

"That sounds fine. What time?" Isa wracked her brain for a moment. Rosa worked a morning shift tomorrow.

"Two in the afternoon should be fine for me. How are you fixed?"

"That would be just great."

"Perfect. You know where the bar is?"

"Yes, I dropped off my resume by hand the other night, actually."

"Really? I don't know if I saw you then. When was this?"

"Last—two days ago, I think. Around 8 in the evening. There was a pretty Asian woman working…was that you?"

"No, no, that was Jade, a good friend and co-worker. I think I was working in the back around that time…"

"Ahh. See I thought it might not be you…your name—are you Spanish?"

"My family is from Mexico, yes."

"Ahh I thought so."

"Joaquin—are you Spanish as well?"

"Half—my mother was Spanish."

"Well there's that in common!"

"Yeah, but hey, you'd better stop, or you'll have nothing to ask in the interview tomorrow!" the man on the other end of the line laughed.

"Oh, I suppose so," Isa grinned and laughed herself. "One more question."

"I suppose it can't hurt."

"Could I get your last name? I know I have it on your resume somewhere in here, but of course I put it back down in the pile and with my glasses on I can't tell them one from the other…" Isa frantically began shuffling through her papers.

"Oh, no problem. It's Wyatt."

"Mmhmm," Isa began scribbling on her legal pad. "And how do you spell that?"

"W-y-a-t-t."

"—a-t-t. Got it. Great. I'll talk to you tomorrow then!"

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too. Alright. I'll see you then. Bye-bye." Isa hung up the phone and gave a sigh of relief. The interview was going to be a formality, really, just to make sure he wasn't a crack-addict with charming phone manners. The job was as good as his, thought Isa, standing up and heading over to the couch where she saw Eva curled happily in Darce's lap. Darce, on the other hand, looked rather shell-shocked, but not displeased at the little girl who was cuddling him like a gigantic teddy bear. He slid his gaze from the TV screen, to Eva, then up to Isa, who stood watching with a twisted smirk.

"Having fun, kids?" she asked. Eva looked up. Darce grinned slightly.

"He's my best friend."

"Really? What about me?" asked Isa.

"You're my best friend too."

"Ahh good," said Isa, sitting on the other side of the couch. "What's Belle up to now?"

"She's dancing in her yellow dress."

"Ohhhh," said Isa. Eva clearly hadn't quite managed to rewind the tape all the way, but no matter—Eva was happy at any point during the movie.

"Doesn't the Beast scare you at all?" asked Darce to the girl in his lap. Eva rolled her eyes up to him.

"No, silly! He's really a Prince, but inside! He's really just a reg-lar guy," Eva instructed him. Darce nodded gravely.

"So—then, could a regular guy be a Beast inside?"

Eva frowned, considering this.

"I…guess…so…" she said.

"A guy like me?" said Darce, making a face at her.

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because—" Eva didn't look so certain anymore.

"Because I could be a Beast. And you could be…ticklish."

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" shrieked Eva as Darce grabbed her and began to tickle her tummy. Eva scrambled down from his lap and scurried across the room, but Darce was a step behind her and the chase was on. Isa frowned for a moment, then realized Darce was playing a gentle but rambunctious catch-and-release game with Eva, whose screams were of pure glee rather than actual terror as they tore all over the small apartment, skidding in and out of the kitchen and bathroom. Darce gave a guttural growl and crooked his fingers into imitation claws and tickled Eva every time she began to slow her pace.

It was Isa's turn to be a little shocked as she watched Darce playing with Eva. At last she succumbed to a helpless fit of chuckles as she waded into the fray and picked up Eva, swinging her into the air and out of Darce's reach.

"Saaaave meeee Tia Isaaaaa!" giggled Eva, locking her little arms around Isa's neck.

"But what if I'm really the Blow-Kisses Beast?"

"Eeeeeeeeeek!" squealed the squirming Eva as Isa blew the rattling, raspberry-kisses all over her face and neck. Isa laughed out loud and turned to where Darce stood, grinning at him. A small smile had appeared on his face, and he was panting slightly from the exertion of keeping up with a freshly-napped toddler. His grin widened as Isa laughed at him, and he shook his head and went over to the couch, collapsing onto it.

"I used to chase my sister like that."

"How old is she?" asked Isa, carrying over Eva and sitting near Darce's head to give them all a chance to catch their breath, Eva still giggling helplessly to herself.

"About ten years younger than me. She starts college this fall."

"Oh. So it's been a while."

"Can't you tell?" said Darce with a breathless chuckle, trying to regain his wind. "God I'm out of shape."

"I don't know—you're pretty built." Isa blushed and fought the urge to clap a hand over her mouth. No way in _hell_ had she just said that aloud.

"Well—thanks. But obviously I'm out of practice in my Beastery," he said, glancing at Eva, who giggled again.

'Subject-change. Thank God,' thought Isa as they all turned their attention back to the movie. Eva crawled out of Isa's lap and sat heavily on Darce's stomach, who gave a small grunt as she thumped her heels against his side as he lay on the couch.

"I'm not afraid of you," she announced, folding her arms.

"Well, good," said Darce with a laugh.

"Watch your movie, Eva."

"Okay…" Eva leaned back and began to suck her thumb again, quite comfortable to remain perched on Darce's stomach.

"Darce…are you okay like that?" asked Isa, a bit concerned.

"I'm fine, thanks," said Darce. "Watch your movie, Isa."

Isa snorted a little, and shook her head, turning back to the video.

_Bitter sweet and strange_

_Finding you can change_

_Learning you were wrong

* * *

_

**A/N: Ending on another note of cute here. _Zing._**


	10. Right Back Where We Started From

**A/N: An update! Yeah--um...that's it! (And for those of you who know sort of what's going on behind-the-scenes while I'm writing it kind of thing--yes, I know he's not here yet. I'll get to it, I promise.)

* * *

**

Isa gathered up her paperwork to file it away for the night. Rosa had come by to collect her daughter, and Darce had mumbled some excuse and left the apartment not long after, his usual mask of solemn distaste well in place.

_Well fine_, thought Isa. _I don't need his goddamn company. I like having the apartment back to myself._ _Sunday night means the bar is closed and I have the night off before that interview tomorrow. Nothing left to do but—_

The door below slammed.

"Isa! We're back!"

—_Sleep._

Isa managed to summon a smile that was very close to heartfelt and happy to see her friends, if a little regretful at the loss of an early night, as Chas appeared, followed by Jade.

"What'd you get?"

"Thai take-out and _The Shining._"

"Damn."

"What? 'Heeeere's Johnny!'"

"Fuck—don't even start with me."

Chas glanced at Jade uncertainly, seeing as his joke had been received so poorly by the usually-amenable Isa. Jade hastened to explain.

"Isa was a major horror-film nut in high school. Then, in senior year, on her 18th birthday, we watched _The Exorcist_ for about the hundredth time. Anyway, Lupe thought it would be funny to spew some demonic-sounding Latin when she came to wake us up the next morning. Isa screamed bloody murder and locked herself in the bathroom to cry for half an hour."

"And I haven't touched the genre since. God I hate my little sister sometimes."

"But I take it you've seen _The Shining_?"

"Read it a few times, too. Kubrick's a freaky genius, and I'm just sorry I can't let myself enjoy horror films anymore."

"If you don't want us to watch it while you're here…"

"Oh, no. Thanks, Chas, but you go ahead. I'll read in my room or something."

"Hello! Hello!" A female voice came up the staircase and was followed into the living room by Chatty, Darce on her heels with a bottle of wine.

"Chatty! I didn't know to expect the pleasure of your company!" said Isa through slightly gritted teeth and a wide smile.

"Oh, I was just moaning about how I was so lonely, new in this city, and Chas invited me along for a night in with a movie!"

"Darce just went to pick her up."

"I had business in that part of town," said Darce noncommittally, in a low voice, not meeting anyone's eyes but glancing slightly at Isa as he set the bottle of wine on the kitchenette counter and put his car keys into his the pocket of his coat.

"What are we watching?" asked Chatty, grabbing the movie case from Chas' lax grip. "_The Shining_? Ohhhh I love Hitchcock!" she squealed excitedly.

Isa coughed and went into the kitchen to find a corkscrew.

"I'll make some popcorn." said Jade as she went to join Isa. The two women hid their smiles as Chatty stood in the living room, clutching Darce's arm and squeaking.

"Touch-a-touch-a-touch me!" Chatty giggled.

"Why don't I get you a glass of wine?" said Darce, disengaging himself from Chatty's grip.

"Thanks, Darce. You're a doll!" She beamed.

Darce walked over to where Isa stood pouring glasses of wine as Jade took the bowl of hot, crisp popcorn, buttered and salted it, and went out to the living room.

Darce picked up one of the full glasses.

"Oh, don't pour me one," he said, stilling Isa's hand as she went to fill the final glass. His fingers brushed the back of her hand, and he drew back his hand as if he'd touched a snake.

"Oh come on, Darce, I know you drink. I run the bar downstairs, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," muttered Darce with a hint of disgusted annoyance in his voice at Isa's gratingly playful manner. _Why couldn't she just be adult and professional and not so…something? _

Isa averted her eyes, but if Darce hadn't been so wrapped up in his own grousing for them moment, he might have seen them narrow slightly, although her grin never wavered.

"I'm driving Chatty back to her hotel later," explained Darce, sighing slightly. "Hence, I can't drink."

"Why not just have a glass now?" Isa leaned closer, and her tone turned conspiratorial. "It'll make it easier for her to seduce you once you've got a drink down you. Why not get it over with?"

"Thank you, no," said Darce icily.

"Oh please—we both know she's gagging for it." Isa shrugged delicately. "And it's not like she's unattractive."

"Frankly it's none of your business."

"My apologies—but it just so happens I have functioning retinas...at least, semi-functioning," she muttered, tugging at her reading glasses perched atop her head for the moment.

"To get back on topic—I just don't drink and drive, alright? I don't do drugs, and even more than a few beers isn't really my thing. Though God knows _why_ I feel I have to explain myself to _you_…"

"Darceeee! We need wiiiiiine!" Chatty's plaintive tone floated into the kitchen, followed by a high-pitched cackle.

"Take a glass with you just in case, Darce," said Isa lowly, a tight smile flickering on her face. "No doubt Chatty wants you to wet your whistle one way or another…"

Isa grabbed a glass for herself and stormed out of the kitchenette. Grabbing a copy of_Reading Lolita in Tehran_she had on the go, she went to her room.

Turning as she reached the door, she called into the living room where Chas was sliding the tape into the VCR and Chatty was setting herself up next to Darce in order to asphyxiate him every time she "got scared."

"In case I sleep late tomorrow morning and miss your departure, you guys—" Chas and Darce looked up. "It's been great," said Isa, smiling at Chas. "A real…_learning experience,_" she said as her gaze switched to Darce. "Goodnight."

"G'night Isa! Thanks for letting us crash here," said Chas with a genuine grin.

"…aren't you going to watch the movie with us?" asked Darce in a slightly bewildered tone.

"I prefer my book, thanks," said Isa dryly, going into her room and shutting the door behind her.

"What kind of person can't even watch a classic horror film?" scoffed Chatty. "I mean—that's just going to result in some kind of…of…cultural _ignorance_ on her part!"

Chas snorted into his wine.

"Cultural ignorance, Chatty? Which culture—Mexican?Should we be watching this in Spanish?" Chas shook his head. "You're Chinese and you can't even count to ten in Mandarin or make half-decent hot and sour soup without screwing up. And to be honest--you kind of look like shit in a shen-i. You don't really have the figure for it. Isa's fluent in Spanish, makes an awesome enchilada with mole sauce, andcould probablyrock a flamenco dress, if she ever wore one," argued Chas.

"Flamenco's from Spain, isn't it? Wouldn't tango be closer?" asked Darce.

"Argentina," said Jade.

"No, I mean American culture in general!" Chatty broke in, obviously upset at Chas' teasing."Although you do make a point, Chas,that a truly civilized woman should have a working knowledge of her ancestry as well as the society she lives in. It's…the _educated_ thing to do! Don't you agree, Darce? You always said you preferred women who were intelligent."

"An adjective that some girls can't even attain through a college degree…" muttered Darce.

"Oh that's wicked Darce! You're so funny sometimes!" Chatty sighed. "It's true though—some of the girls I went to college with were so _stupid_! A woman these days can't be too little educated. Besides a college degree, she has to have street smarts and a travel-sized can of pepper-spray. She has to trust her instincts—but she needs to develop these as well so as not to be misled by them. On top of all of this—sophistication. Above all things, sophistication. And intelligence. There are enough vulgar women in the world as it is."

"What if someone doesn't have all the necessary…support needed to go for college?" asked Chas.

"Well, there really wouldn't be any poor people in the world if they took oppourtunities as they came along," said Chatty.

Darce took a sip of wine.

"Some women may just have naturally fertile minds that can easily improve themselves under self-discipline and independent study," he stated. _Wow. That came out sounding pompous and full of shit,_ thought Darce.

"Everyone is intelligent in their own way…" said Jade quietly, with a smile. That seemed to put an end to the conversation, and she hit _Play _and curled up on the couch next to Chas, both trying to ignore the fact that Chas' apartment would be ready for habitation by the next evening.

* * *

**A/N: Wow. It kind of hurt meto write out one of those pithy Darce/Isa arguments again. I don't like it when they fight, but even I could see that Darce was being too nice and Isa was being too friendly hence they both stiffened up and are back at it like cats and dogs. Ahh the good ol' times.**

**And a secret part of me likes letting out the witty bitch for a few minutes of dialogue.**


	11. Heaven or Las Vegas

**A/N: My gosh, it's an update! Happy summer reading!

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**

Isa got up earlier than usual, showered, dressed, even put on some make-up. She went to the kitchen to make some coffee and was surprised to see Darce was already up.

"Wouldn't've pegged you as an early riser," she said.

"I could say the same for you," he said lowly, staring at the section of the paper he'd been trying to read.

Isa shrugged.

"I've got an interview today. New bartender."

"Good for you." Darce was unused to conversation this early in the morning—usually the early hour meant solitude and silence for him to relax. _Goddamn, now I'm on edge. I'll be wound tight all day because of her._

"So you're leaving today?" Isa took no small amount of relish in the thought. _He always looks as if someone just died and the only thing he can think of is when the corpse is going to start to smell bad._

"Looks like." Darce shook out the pages of his paper to make a point of silently asking her to shut up and leave him to his reading. If Isa picked up on the hint, she did not let on as much.

"Nice day."

"Yeah." Darce thought for a moment. "I thought your interview was in the afternoon. You said on the phone it was what, two?" _God Darce, you listened to what she said on the phone and you remembered it? Get a grip._

"It is. I just need time to prepare myself. Mentally, I guess. Get myself psyched up for being the boss. Beyond the day-to-day kind of petty business, this is something big." She glanced at the millionaire sitting across from her at the table. "Relatively big. I expect our dedication to our business is one of the only things we have in common."

Darce simply nodded and went back to his coffee. He needed to stop paying so damn much attention to Isa, he decided.

"Why do you take cream in your coffee?"

"Cools it off, I guess." _Stop talking, Darce. Stop it._

"Another common thread."

"Fascinating as this comparison of our petty personal habits is, I'd like to get back to how the stock exchange is doing, thanks."

"How about if I draw up a Venn diagram for you to look at?" Isa said coldly. "Then maybe you'll show an ounce of interest in interacting with another human being." She rose from the table and took her coffee out to the living room.

"It's not like we're strangers," she said softly as she left, her ire rising with every moment she considered his despicable attitude.

Darce's eyes never left her until she sat on the couch and turned on the early morning news, hoping it would not allow Darce one moment of the concentration he so obviously craved. The blaring television jarred Darce back to himself and he stared at the business section, crumpling the edges of the paper in a hard grip.

At five to two, a knock sounded at the door of the bar. Isa looked up from the papers she'd been going over at the bar and went over to open the door. A rangy, tall young man with dark hair and cobalt blue eyes smiled pleasantly at her.

"Joaquin Wyatt?" She shook his hand.

"Ms. Benedicte?"

"Isa, please—call me Isa."

"Joaquin, then, for me."

"Will do. Have a seat."

"Ladies first."

They sat down after Isa had offered to get him anything to drink. He'd politely declined and she'd gotten herself a bottle of water since her throat was suddenly very dry.

"So tell me about your past experience—I see here you were at the Bellagio…"

They both looked up as there was a clatter at the back of the bar. Chas had his arm around Jade's shoulders and was holding his packed bag.

"Thanks again Isa. We're heading off now. Sorry for the interruption, I just wanted to say—well, goodbye!" Isa bid him farewell and he left. Just as Isa was turning back to face Joaquin, another person ducked through the door.

"Isa, I—" Darce looked at Isa for a moment. "I came to say, well…goodbye. And I—" He stopped as his gaze focused on the man sitting across from Isa. His brow furrowed and his eyes became unreadable as he glared at Joaquin. Isa squinted at him, thinking her glasses might be playing tricks on her eyes. She turned her head curiously to look at Joaquin, who was coolly returning Darce's gaze, but without any hint of the animosity that now seemed to be rolling off Darce in waves.

A moment later, Darce turned—after a hesitation as if he wasn't sure if he should say something or not—and left without a word, the door banging shut behind him.

Isa turned back to her paperwork with a shrug.

"That was weird," she remarked under her breath. "But it's not like I've come to expect anything else from him."

"You know Darce well?"

"Well, not _well_, he's just been staying at my place for the last—wait, you know Darce?"

"We grew up together. Best friends since junior high. Same private school. My dad and his dad were business partners."

Isa thought her jaw might as well come unhinged for all the progress it was making towards the floor at a rapid speed. Joaquin grinned ruefully, showcasing a dimple in his left cheek, which had a bare amount of black stubble on it—as if he's forgotten to shave that morning.

"And then what?"

" 'And then…'" Joaquin laughed again. "I guess you noticed we didn't exactly pound hug just now."

"If looks could kill…" muttered Isa.

"If only they could. I get the feeling you'd've done Darce in a long time ago."

Isa chuckled.

"It'd be hard to say which of us would have hit the ground first. We don't mesh well."

"So you're not…friends?"

"Nothing of the kind. His friend Chas is awesome. I don't know how he can stand to be around Darce. Chas is the reason I let Darce come along too. And I as very nice to him."

"I'll bet you can be _very_ nice when the inclination strikes you."

"Don't spread that around town," growled Isa mockingly. She folded her hands on top of the notes and questions she's written down earlier. "Tell me how a private school graduate ends up working as a…pump attendant?"

"You mean gas monkey?"

"I wouldn't have put it that way," said Isa, but she laughed anyways. "And you're looking to move up to beer monkey?"

"The best kind of monkey."

Isa rolled her eyes thoughtfully.

"Debatable. I hear the monkey who owns Microsoft is doing pretty well for himself." She leaned towards Joaquin. "But flattery will get you everywhere, and monkeys are cute."

Joaquin grinned roguishly. There was that dimple again!

"Well, all throughout highschool, Darce and I were tight, see? Almost like brothers. We had our differences, but we were always there for each other. When graduation started coming up, he got all serious and wanted to grow up way too fast. I felt like there was so much life had to offer me, still. I didn't want to tie myself down that fast to a career. I wanted to see the world, experience things for myself."

Joaquin looked down at his hands on the tabletop and became serious.

"The night we graduated—there was a car accident. Killed both our dads. I lost my mum a while earlier—I barely remembered her. But my dad was my world. And Darce's dad was like another dad who I'd thought could watch out for us if anything happened to my dad. Darce knew it'd be the same way if his dad were gone. We were a family, of sorts. But with both of them gone…things got ugly. Darce just let go of everything he used to care about. All his old friends…his old life. I left. I couldn't really handle all the doom and gloom. I needed to sort things out for myself. I figured we needed some time apart to handle what had happened."

Joaquin reached across the table and took a sip from Isa's water bottle, his eyes never leaving hers as he did. A moment later, he continued.

"When I came back—I was ready to grow up. I wanted a career, my part in the business our fathers had left to us. But by then Darce had assumed total control. And he hated me."

"Why?"

Joaquin shook his head.

"I never quite figured it out. I think he holds me responsible for everything that went wrong in his life. His sister was in an accident too. She survived, but I think it shattered what was left of the decent guy Darce used to be. And because I'd stayed true to myself, he resented me. Resented me for holding on to what I believed in. Somehow his convoluted logic led him to believe that everything was my fault because I was resistant to change, rather than him. Nothing left to fate, nothing predestined. Everything was my fault."

"That's impossible."

"Try telling that to Darce," he said with a rueful chuckle. "I left and I never looked back."

"_Dio_. I knew he was a socially-constipated asshole but I never thought he'd do anything like that. I mean, that's practically delusional…"

Joaquin cocked his head thoughtfully.

"It's amazing what some people will believe if it's what they want to hear."

"Wow…" said Isa, still shaking her head.

Joaquin tapped the table.

"Enough of the past. What say you give me this job?" He grinned widely and Isa, after a moment, smiled in return.

Forty-five minutes later, Isa headed back up to the apartment, alone, having hired a new bartender and with a silly grin permanently affixed to her face.

**

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	12. Love is a Stranger

**A/N: two chapters in one night? This is why you love me. I also appear to be titling chapters with song titles that have pertinent lyrics. The previous chapter was a rough one, and I've been listening to Cocteau Twins nonstop for the past three days, so whatEVER, I like that song.**

* * *

"Message for you, Isa." Jade stood in sweats and a cropped t-shirt, blearily watching the coffeepot percolating.

"Hmm?" Isa tried desperately to decipher what was going on and failed miserably as she was still warm from her bed and sans glasses and coffee.

"Said he'd drop in 'round lunch time. Want me to make some sandwiches?"

Since Chas and Darce's departure the day before, Jade had been more withdrawn than usual. Isa was used to hearing her give clipped, soft answers to strangers with whom she was shy, but never around her friends. Though there was no outward show of unhappiness, or even a hostility in her manner, there was an underlying kind of anxiety that made Isa worry and Jade more quiet than was her wont.

"_Who_ said he'd come by?"

"He didn't give a name. Though he did sound familiar."

"What did he want?" She lunged at the pot as soon as the filter had dripped its last and sloshed some of the God-juice into her mug with the cats on it.

"He was really vague. Something about a business proposal. He sounded kind of embarrassed, actually."

"New to the industry, maybe?" She tried sipping the coffee black and grimaced, hissing at her burnt tongue, which woke her up slightly instead of the hoped-for caffeine. "Some folks might be nervous about peddling liquid sin to the masses." Isa stirred some sugar and cream into her coffee to cool it as Jade poured her own coffee and topped it up with some cold water. "What they fail to realize is that we do what we can to keep people within their limits and it comes down to personal choice. Haven't had a bust-up in my bar yet, and that's one record I plan to hold."

The girls sipped simultaneously from their mugs and sighed in unison.

Isa worked in her office and had forgotten entirely about the proposed meeting from the Message-Leaving Guy. Thus she frowned when she heard a none-too-gentle pounding at the locked door of the bar. Getting up, she shoved her glasses back on her head and went out into the bar.

She swore inwardly when she saw it was Colin Priestly. Summoning a facial expression that was the next best thing to wearing a sandwich board sign claiming PMS and a questionable rash Downtown, she opened the door.

"Hi," he said dumbly, grinning wanly and not moving.

"Can I help you?" asked Isa irritably, racking her brain for an excuse to get rid of him. "I have to—uh—I have a business meeting soon, so if you don't mind?" _Get lost, psycho._

"That's me."

"You're what?"

"The, uh, the business…meeting. I told Jade…that I was…"

"Oh." Isa frowned in genuine confusion for a moment and felt her stomach hit the floor as if it had just heard an air raid siren. She gathered up all the dignity she could muster under the circumstances and let Colin enter the bar. He waddled in and sat at one of the tables, wearing an ill-fitting suit and tugging at the poorly-knotted tie.

_Tsk tsk,_ thought Isa sourly. _He should be hanging from the ceiling fan by it._

"So?" she asked, remaining standing. No way was she going to risk her knees bumping against his at that tiny table. "At the risk of repeating myself: can I help you?"

"Uh, yeah, um. You can. See…" Colin looked uncomfortable and stood. He paced over to the bar and nervously fiddled with one of the taps.

"Can you not? …Please?" said Isa.

"Sorry. Uh." He cleared his throat. "W-well, see I wanted to tell you that I'm, actually, um, moving to New York."

"…Congratulations!" He looked at her and grinned at her response, which she realized may have been too hearty in her joy at realizing he'd soon be on the other side of the continent they were regrettably forced to share.

"Yeah, it's—it's a great place. Better than this." He rolled his eyes conspiratorially at their surroundings.

"Better than _this_?" She repeated, imitating his derogatory inflection. His eyes bugged and his mouth flapped soundlessly for a moment as he realized his blunder.

"No, I mean, better than L.A. in general. I meant nothing against your very comfortable and, uh, well-run…establishment here. If I insulted you, I'm so very sorr—"

Isa held up her hand to shut him up for the moment.

"Whatever. It's fine. Really. I happen to like L.A., but whatever, to each his own." _Now leave now please. Go to your own. The mothership. Whatever._

"Well, that's probably only because you've never been to New York…I mean, it's got…winter," he said lamely, grasping at straws.

"Freezing winds that stink like whatever crawled onto the subway tracks to die last week and sooty snow? The picture you paint is truly dazzling. Let me buy some skis," said Isa dryly, biting back a laugh.

"Well, I mean—that's what I mean. I want you to come with me."

_Please let there be a bomb-test a block away right this instant. Please._

"What?"

"I mean…I'd be opening up a club in New York, and I'd need someone…with, um…management skills."

_If by "management skills" you mean someone with enough brains not to burn down their business in a freak accident, there is a highly competent bum panhandling out in traffic there who might be able to help you out of your tight spot._

Isa crossed her arms and stared at Colin.

"Wha—"

"You'd get a great salary—perhaps more than…" he glanced around the bar. "But on that subject I'll be quiet. I can assure you that once we make it big in New York, I'll never tell anyone where your origins were."

"My what? Wait—who says I'm going to go with you?"

Colin flailed mentally for a moment before falling on his ass, mentally, once more.

"I—my mother just loaned me…a lot of money. I mean—we could set up a great business, you and I. And you wouldn't have to worry about moving or finding a place, I mean, we could live together…if…that's if…um…"

_Oh holy mother of fuck no._

"Isa—will you marry me?" Colin dropped awkwardly to one knee and took Isa's hand in his own. She yanked her arm back hard enough to give her wrist a bit of a wrench and wanted to die right there.

"No! I will not! And moreover I will not go with you to New York or ever buy into a business of yours or…_God_!"

Colin seemed unfazed.

"You wouldn't have to buy—I mean, if we were married the loan would be in—"

"I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU!"

Colin stood, smirking fondly at her.

"Fine, if you just want to keep our relationship professional, _for now_, fine. I'll even ask less for your half of the investment. See this is why you're a great business person. You can drive a hard bargain."

"We don't HAVE a relationship of ANY kind, and we NEVER WILL. I don't want to be your business partner, and the only thing I would despise more would be to be your business partner and have to SLEEP WITH YOU, too!"

"Know this, Isa," said Colin, still smirking. "I can be very persuasive." He stepped closer and pinched her chin and Isa jerked backwards. Silently, she walked over to the door and held it open.

"Get out," she hissed.

Colin sailed past her out the door. He turned on the threshold to face her.

"Call me when you change your mind, sweetcheeks."

Isa slammed the door behind him and locked it.

"SWEETCHEEKS?"

"I know, who the hell says that anymore? I mean besides fat old white men," snarked Isa, glaring into the bottom of her bottle of beer as she sat curled up to Jade on the couch.

"Colin says it, obviously." Jade had a comforting arm around Isa and was stroking her hair in a motherly way.

"In the spirit of being nice I will admit that he is still a few years shy of being officially old. But he fits the rest of that demographic. Bastard." Isa took a swig of her beer.

"His intentions were…well, I'm still not certain what he was going for. Was is a business proposal or a marriage proposal?"

"Both in the same breath."

"Now what kind of girl could resist that kind of approach?" said Jade, shaking her head and laughing.

"It wasn't so much an approach as an emergency landing." Isa pouted dolefully at the bottle in her hand. "With lots of big flame-y balls of…flame. And bad cologne."

"Come on," Jade tugged Isa to her feet and scooped a videotape off the cabinet above the TV. "You're not manning—or womanning—the bar tonight."

"But—"

"I'm calling Toby for back-up. Don't worry your pretty little head." As they passed the kitchenette, Jade stopped and began rummaging through the cupboards.

"Oh! A lynch mob! Good idea. I call the electric mixer! Mixer to balls! Checkmate!" Before Isa could unearth the appliance and seek out Colin's man meat to make mincemeat, Jade held her back as she fished out the article she'd been searching for: a can of whipped chocolate frosting. Sliding a spoon out of a drawer, she frogmarched Isa to her bedroom.

"You are going to bed early and are going to watch _The Princess Bride_ in your room and before you fall asleep you are going to eat every last bit of frosting with this spoon."

"I'll get fat," Isa mumbled. "You're like the Wicked Witch of the West. Only skinny and gorgeous and with chocolate frosting."

"If you were to get fat—which you won't and you aren't—Colin will leave you alone," said Jade brightly.

"As would every other guy on the planet. Oh wait, they do that alreadyyyyy…" Isa's chin wibbled and her eyes filled with tears. "I go around throwing away the only marriage proposal I'll ever g-get—I m-mean a s-serious one. That guy on the bus d-doesn't count!" Isa blubbered, falling face-first onto her duvet.

Half an hour later, Toby burst through the bedroom door carrying a dozen red roses.

"Marry me, darling!" he trilled. Isa glared sullenly at him with red, puffy eyes as she turned back to the screen and stuffed the spoonful of frosting into her mouth.

"I'd want lots of sex and babies, you puffball" she said hollowly, focusing on the troubled life of Princess Buttercup in order to hide the glint of humour in her eyes.

"So long as we had a picture of Brad Pitt tattooed on your back, I'd be set," Toby sat cheerily on the bed beside Isa as she socked him on the arm, then hugged him.

"Thank you," she said into his chest.

"You and Jade are my best girlfriends. And we tough bitches have to stick together." Toby glanced at the screen. "God, Prince Humperdinck. I get a hard-on every time I hear his name."

"But he's evil. It's all about Westley and Buttercup."

"And their painfully hetero love story." Toby sighed and shook his head. "Inigo and Westley would have made the hottest possible gay couple in this movie—although Inigo and Fezzik have mad hot chemistry. And some S&M bondage with Humperdinck and Westley in his pirate costume does have some hot possibilities, if you consider Westley being rendered immobile but managing the whole rant about 'to the pain'…"

"I can't believe you just irrevocably gay-ified _The Princess Bride_."

"Miracle Max now sells magical buttplugs!"

"I'm not HEARING this!" Isa dragged a pillow over her head, and Toby seized the oppourtunity to sneak some of her frosting. "MINE!" she shrieked, grabbing for it. "Look, why don't you and your imagination go get a room?" she teased.

"I wish. Gotta go tend bar."

"Thanks for that, hon. And the flowers. They're gorgeous."

"_You're_ gorgeous, you sexy bitch. Sleep tight." Toby smacked a kiss on her lips and sashayed out of the room and down to the bar.

Isa was being shaken roughly out of a dream involving Darce in the Pit of Despair with Toby waving buttplugs gleefully and sucking the life out of Darce through his nipples.

"Noooooo," she moaned as the fantasy shattered and Jade stood over her, whispering harshly.

"Isa! Isa! Isa wake up!"

"Mmmmwhaaat? Not the Pact again?"

"Sort of. You'll want to hear this!"

"What is it?"

"Rosa's going to marry Colin Priestly and move to New York with him."

"Hahaha. Oh this dream just keeps getting better and better. Can I quickly check in on Darce and the buttplugs before we blip over to Rosa and Colin's racecar-themed wedding?"

"What the HELL, Isa, have you been smoking weed? Do you have a fever?" Jade lay her hand on Isa's forhead, then pinched her cheek.

"Ow!"

"You're not dreaming, honey."

"Then—wait, what?"

"Rosa and Colin are getting married."

Isa would have gratefully passed out, had she been of a less hardy constitution. As it was, all she could do was gape and Jade, although unlike MacBeth in most respects, had indeed murdered sleep for her.


End file.
